May I RANT on MANNERS, please?

Most mornings I, and another group of lazy locals frequent a little restaurant/bar up the road a bit, Drake's Inn. Super little place. One of this group of morning regulars is a rertired lawyer, and he aggravates the heck outta me. He's not trying to, I just find him abrasive. Always have.
This group of folks, we always sit at the bar for breakfast(NOT a liquid breakfast, eggs and bacon, ya know?) leaving the tables for tourists and family groups. Every morning that lawyer SOB has to blow his nose while sitting there with people on either side of him.
In the first place, I consider it RUDE as hell! When there are people eating near-by, as is generally the case, all the moreso. The mens room is right there!!! Very few things really set me off but, even if I'm at a distance from him, I have to resist the urge to go down and snatch him right off the stool! He's a retired PD from Philadelphia, never married, lives with his mother in a big house on the lake, you would think he'd know better! He is obviously a well-educated, polished man.
Nothing like having pretty little Paula Drake put a nice plate of breakfast chow in front of ya and just as you are diving in, this bozo has to go honking on his beak. Using, of course, a napkin that he leaves behind. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif
This might seem like small 'taters, but I'm going to lose it on him some morning. I think somebody should say something to him.
The question is, should it be the person serving the bar, or the owner, or would a customer be in the right speaking up? Like ME for instance.
I think the owner should say something personally. Consider that it is the responsibility of the person serving to monitor the behavior of the drinkers that inhabit the place later in the day. No cursing, yelling, slobbering, or agravating other people allowed, it's a family kind of joint.
The person serving would be more likely to say something by taking him quietly aside. A customer would be more likely, I think, to "go off" on him!

Does not common courtesy and manners dictate that the restroom, or outside, is a more appropiate place?

Thanks for listening, this is bugging me a lot more than it should perhaps! I find this behavior disgusting wherever it occurs, ot just with this one guy in this one situation.

Yes, I agree, that's a complete lack of manners. You simply don't blow your nose when people near by are eating. And the fact that he leaves the napkin behind without throwing it in the trash is disgusting. Not only does he lack manners but hygiene as well. I can understand why you're pissed. He may not be aware of how inappropriate he is, though. You should try telling him something like "excuse me, would you mind using the restroom. I'm trying to eat".
If you want to be more discrete, you could make a complaint to the staff and let them handle it.

PS: Try using paragraphs in your post, it's hard on the eyes to read a full page of text without brakes.

Buy me a round-trip ticket out to NC and buy me breakfast and I'll take care of him for you.





And by "take care of" I mean educational brochures and a full powerpoint presentation on preventing the spread of illness. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Better?
Sorry about that.
Temper affects my typing apparantly!

Just a question: what should one do when, suddenly, affected by a series of sneezes? Once in awhile eating will stimulate a minor allergic reaction and one will have to blow their nose several times.

Anytime I use a restaurant's paper napkins for my nose, they go on the plate, at the end of the meal, for easy disposal. With people wiping their mouths, children's hands and faces etc., the waitstaff should have enough sense not to touch these (un)sanitary germ reservoirs. Often, however, this is not the case.

While I think you should follow Stream's advice, I'd be sorely tempted to sit next to him, wait for him to take a bite and then do the same thing myself. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin07.gif

I see your point, Jay. However, if sneezing or having to blow your nose is a constant problem then I would get a table for myself where I could be more discrete and of less nuisance to others.
And about leaving napkins used to blow your nose on the plate, if I had to blow my nose a lot I wouldn't just leave a whole bunch of mucous soaked napkins on the plate. I would take the time (seconds) to throw them in the trash myself.


Tom Dunn wrote:
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Better?


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Yeah, that's better /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif

I was only wondering, as stated, about an occasional occurrance as I've witnessed in restaurants. Constant piles of mucous soaked napkins would be inconsiderate.

It sounds like the guy has a "routine" he may not be aware of, however rude. Yeah, if this guy is honkin' it real good, close to others, it's wrong. But unless it sounds like a steamship, a normally blown nose doesn't bother me. YMMV, but I hear lots of, what could be intrusive, noises when dining out and it seems that most folks don't notice.

jayflash wrote:
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I was only wondering, as stated, about an occasional occurrance as I've witnessed in restaurants.

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I think such occasional occurrences are to be expected when eating out, besides there generally is a great deal of noise in a crowded cafe/diner/restaurant. I guess to most people it's just white-noise. People who can't tolerate noise and occasional disturbances would probably be better off eating home anyway. But it sounded to me like this guy was just sitting by the counter on a regular basis, right next to others, and really 'honkin it', as you say. If this is the case, I think someone should give this guy a notice.

I agree, Stream. This was kind of funny and gross at the same time.

Thank you for the exchange and your views.
The spontanietyof a sneeze is one thing. This is a deliberate "periodic maintenence" task. I'd not be surprized to learn that, on Sunday afternoons, he sits down and plans out his "blasting schedule" for the week.
Also, for the record, the counter/bar(check the clock) has 8 stools, and there are 9 tables. Cracker Barrel it ain't!

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PhotonWrangler said:
While I think you should follow Stream's advice, I'd be sorely tempted to sit next to him, wait for him to take a bite and then do the same thing myself. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin07.gif

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That's hilarious. I can see myself scooting up next to him and smiling big as sunrise just waiting for him to put the fork in his mouth. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif

I've worked in food/alcohol service for many years and having someone snot up linens and leave them for me to pick up has always digusted me. My favorite way to deal with it was to come around with a new linen and a small trash can and ask the "gentleman" (its always a guy) to toss the linen in the can for me. I'd say something like, "I really need to get that out of the dining room."

This usually embarasses them into an apology or they are offended and I blew my tip.

Sometimes its worth working for $2.13 an hour when you get to educate someone on the basic courtesies that most members of our community agree to follow.

Considering the alternative (picking his nose in public), I'm not sure if this would bother me that much. Then again, I live in a place where the locals are not exactly known for their manners. I've witnessed all of the following at one time or another in very public places: nose blowing, nose picking, belching, farting, tooth brushing, nail clipping, applying makeup, tweezing eyebrows, shaving, urinating, defecating, and finally having intercourse (in a crowded subway car no less!). In the last case, I got the impression the "couple" had just met on the train, and decided on the fly to take each other for a "test drive" before pursuing the relationship further. It wouldn't have annoyed me so much except that with each thrust the guy's behind kept banging into me, and I had no room to go elsewhere. Between that and the "sound effects" I felt like I was in a live porno movie. Totally disgusting yet nobody said a word. I guess the prevailing thought was that a confrontation wasn't worth it as most of the riders would never see these two bozos again within ten or twenty minutes. I tend to think as a society we get coarser every year.

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jtr1962 said:
Between that and the "sound effects" I felt like I was in a live porno movie. Totally disgusting yet nobody said a word. I guess the prevailing thought was that a confrontation wasn't worth it as most of the riders would never see these two bozos again within ten or twenty minutes. I tend to think as a society we get coarser every year.

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Ohmygawd. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jpshakehead.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumbsdown.gif