any relationship problem due to hobby??

Have you had any relationship problem with your gf/wife due to your hobby with flashlights or other outdoor gear? I have running into a problem with woman I date right now. She thinks I am a geek because I have all this gear. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif I really want to leave her .

My wife is very understanding of my hobbies. Her attitude is that as long as the bills get paid I can do whatever I want with the rest.
As far as being a geek, that's assumed... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hahaha.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/poke2.gif

Picard - you need to find a flashaholic female, or at least one who accepts your obsession. Seriously. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Mrs. Powernoodle finds my hobby almost funny. I don't go to bars, blow money on golfing or own a bass boat, so she figures its a harmless little sideshow when compared to what some men do with their time and money.

best regards

Well, Ive been married almost 25 years. I cant figure out in advance what will cause a problem and what wont. Interestingly, buying fountain pens caused a problem. Although that was accepted over time. Going to strip bars hasnt caused a problem. Go figure, not that Im complaining /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Watches were a real problem at times, although it got better with time as well. Watch bands and the like seem fine as long as they arent real expensive. In fairness some of the watch stuff was extremely pricey.

She doesnt know about the flashlights yet. My guess is that seeing me go from pens to watches and then to flashlights will be a welcome change price-wise and therefore wont get much attention. Plus she actually sees the use of lights to some degree and was glad when I got her a Freedom Micro for her keychain. I would love it if she got into them as well. That would make things vastly easier. So far she wants to go flyfishing with me again and is interested in taking shooting (sporting clays) lessons with me as well as high performance driving school. All of which is great. But really, who knows at this point. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

If X is a serious part of your life, you have to find a person that either enjoys X or does not care if you X. If not you will always have a wall in the relationship which will cause more and more problems.

I'm very fortunate to have found a female that doesn't mind my firearms, computer junk, flashlights, reloading equipment... In return, she has her hobbies. I show some interest in what she does, and she shows some in mine.

Like UVvis said, my wife has her own hobbies so it works out. She appreciates the light I bought for her. Actually, her main complaint is that I spend too much time online and not enough with her. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon23.gif

I have a wonderful and tolerant wife, and I try to keep it reasonable (relatively few high end lights - which suits my own tastes as well). She's happy I don't play with handguns as much these days... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinser2.gif.

I'm being completely serious here. You should probably expect this relationship to end, in fact it probably should end, if hobbies which are important to you actively cause dissention in the relationship.

I dated two different women who either didn't care or actively disliked some of my hobbies (Collecting lights/lanterns and camping/backpacking/outdoors activities) I went so far as to get engaged to the first one before I realized what a problem this was going to be. The second one lasted about two weeks before she had a total fit because she was NOT going to sleep overnight in the "icky" outdoors and I told her that I was going on the weekend canoe trip with or without her. (okay, not too diplomatic but she'd known about this trip for a MONTH!)

They were otherwise great ladies and leaving them was painful but not nearly so bad as a marriage would have been under those conditions.

My wife, on the other hand, is mostly amused by my lantern/flashlight collecting hobby, and actively enjoys the whole outdoors scene. (with the funny aside that she'll hike and backpack about anywhere but if she sees an ant in the kitchen at home she freaks /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif ) That's not to say we share all of the same interests nor that we do everything together, but the stuff that is important that we want company for, is pretty much a match.

My long term G/F retunley calls me a doork for Geocaching/hamradio/Flashlights/computer hobbeys... On the outher hand I also ride soprot bikes (ZX-9R)/IDPA competive shooting (havent doone in a few years)/9 yaears of marshararts traing. Recently she has seen how much fun we have with the ham radio and APRS so she has now started to worck tward her lic. (now I get to give here a hard time)So its not realey that I am a dork... Just a jack of all tradies, And as long as its all just fun its ok by me. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin07.gif

No problem here. In fact she thinks my cyan Aleph 3 is really cool.

To echo previous seriousness, if your S/O has a problem with your hobby, then that's a pretty bad sign. But you do have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether or not you are projecting the image of fiscal responsibility.

For my wife it is too late. I already done whacked her on the head and dragged her back to the cave. She can divorce me if she has to, but short of that she's trapped /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Hi. My name is Scott, and I'm a flashaholic.

My wife gives me dirty looks for each $5 or $10 flashlight I buy...and every frame of film I shoot whose subject is people other than family. She's convinced that the lights are why I "don't have any money". My response is always, "Let's do the numbers and see how much money it totals." Of course, she's not interesting in being refuted by the numbers, which would show that I've spent less than $200 total.

you guys are really lucky to have wife/gf who understand you. I envy all of you. Where would I find a woman who likes outdoors stuff? I even joined outdoor single club but there are few women who even like biking. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif I need your advices Jedi council.

Most every LED flashlight and headlight that I've bought in recent times has gotten us out of a jam in one way or another, so my spouse tolerates my purchases. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

my computer doesnt have a problem with the flashlights, and the pda doesnt get jelous of the main computer, and the solar projects dont mind either of them, the video stuff does sometimes get neglected, and the cars sometimes quit working, the batteries just want more power in the houshold, but the DOG, now the dog is very unhappy with all of them. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
still working on manufactuing the solar computerized battery operated wife, eventually i will get one that works most of the time too, version 8.7 was working for a while, then the software changed itself ??

I have lights and she has clothing/shoes... in the end it all works out (for me at least) as long as material properties remain in there place.

picard, you might want to run a few searches in the cafe... there is some good (at least IMO) relationship advice in a few threads. The main one that comes to mind was started a time ago by raggie33. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

-Mike

thanks for the tip Xrunner. I will stop by Cafe for cup of Cappucino and for Abbie advices. Ciao

Two more of my cents worth. It might be reasonable to consider your girlfriend's viewpoint for a moment and think of what you are bringing to the relationship besides your solo hobbies. Do you do/get things for her sometimes which wouldn't be your choice for yourself? Do you see chick flicks with her? flowers (yeah, useless, I know, but women seem to like them...), show an interest in her day, etc. etc.

In short, are you being fair to her otherwise? That might have an effect on how she sees your hobby. If not, then your problems won't just be with this girlfriend.

My wife is more than understanding, but when my taste in lights went up quickly I buffered he bulk of the funds with Ebay to avoid any conflict. Out with the old and in with the new as they say. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

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nerdgineer said:
Two more of my cents worth. It might be reasonable to consider your girlfriend's viewpoint for a moment and think of what you are bringing to the relationship besides your solo hobbies. Do you do/get things for her sometimes which wouldn't be your choice for yourself? Do you see chick flicks with her? flowers (yeah, useless, I know, but women seem to like them...), show an interest in her day, etc. etc.

In short, are you being fair to her otherwise? That might have an effect on how she sees your hobby. If not, then your problems won't just be with this girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well said nerdengineer, and very un-nerdy of you to say so!

thanks for the tip nerdengineer. The woman I just met only few weeks. I am not living with her nor married. Sheesh, she is getting on my case every minute. She critize me for everything I do. Should I dump this chick??? I need your advices Jedi council. I am just a humble padawan.