ill never have kids

raggie33

*the raggedier*
Joined
Aug 11, 2003
Messages
13,453
well for one reason i dont think i wanna pass on my genes.and for another man i watch shows on tv like nanny 911 .holly molly some kids are so bad.ill have heart attak im sure
 

chrisse242

Enlightened
Joined
Dec 12, 2003
Messages
899
Location
Germany
As far as I can see, there's nothing wrong with your genes. Not that I think there's anything like "bad genes", anyway.
And if those shows are in any way similar to the nanny shows on german TV, I'd rather have the kids than the nannies. You can still change the way the kids behave, for the nannies it's too late.

Chrisse
 

James S

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Aug 27, 2002
Messages
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Location
on an island surrounded by reality
Most men feel this way at some point or other. And then someday in the future a lady tells you that you are going to have kids and nows the right time... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 

UncleFester

Flashaholic*,
Joined
Apr 28, 2004
Messages
1,271
Location
Desert Hlls,AZ
[ QUOTE ]
James S said:
Most men feel this way at some point or other. And then someday in the future a lady tells you that you are going to have kids and nows the right time... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

My Ex Wife tried this tactic. Notice that she's now my EXwife.....
 

cmendoza

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 14, 2003
Messages
236
Location
Utah
Having kids allows me at at pretend some of my flashlights, the light-sabers I make, the magnets and gyroscopes, are all educational toys for them! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

O.K., I doubt anyone's really fooled! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
 

Xrunner

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Joined
Aug 21, 2002
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Colorado
I think it's a normal stage in life... I know several people who used to never want kids, and today most of them (myself included) have at least softened up to the idea somewhat. I guess it just takes one special person to change your world, and at least some of your views. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

-Mike
 

Outrider

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Joined
Mar 3, 2005
Messages
141
An uncle of mine was an advocate of the "bung hole theory". In short - place child in large barrel and nail the lid shut. Feed thru bung hole. When kid turns 17, Drive in the bung. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif I am sure he was kidding. My Son and Grandson are my special joy.
 

pradeep1

Enlightened
Joined
Jul 12, 2005
Messages
202
Location
Georgia, USA
I am looking forward to having kids. Imagine being able to relive some of the fun things again with your kids, who are now experiencing it for the first time. Very cool.
 

cobb

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Messages
2,957
Yeah, I would hate to make a kid disabled myself if I had a choice otherwise. Its a good chance what I have could skip a few generations or pop back up.
 

Zelandeth

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Joined
Nov 28, 2002
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Northeast Scotland (Aberdeenshire)
I guess I'm not the best person to ask on this subject, but feel I may as well put forward some of my views.

Firstly, the disclaimer: I admit completely to having absolutely no paternal instincts whatsoever!

Reasons I'd not have children.

1. Children are expensive. And no, there's no way to deny it!
2. The world's population is growing at an unsustainable rate as it is.
3. If you've got a kid, you're tied down to looking after it full time for at least the first 14 years.
4. Would you ever forgive yourself if something happened to it?
5. Children make mess.
6. They also ignore instructions, and whine a lot. At least all the ones I encounter on a regular basis do.

I'm not mean to them when I meet them, but it's a case of being able to "put up" with them on a short term basis. Put me in the same house as a kid and I'm pretty sure I'd go crazy. A screaming baby can drive me around the bend within five minutes. More than once I've got off a bus home from college and waited over an hour for the next one, just to avoid said baby.

I really don't think I'd make a good father, it just frustrates me trying to deal with kids, they just have no concept of logic at all. Then again, neither do many adults, which I guess is why I tend to look so confused all the time.

That said, it's hardly a secret that my mind's a bit of an odd place to start with. Humanity confuses me enough to start with, and children even more so! Probably why some of my best friends between the ages of 10 and 20 were my cars, computers, and the dragons in the stories I wrote. I understood them.
 

James S

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Joined
Aug 27, 2002
Messages
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Location
on an island surrounded by reality
[ QUOTE ]
Children are expensive. And no, there's no way to deny it!

[/ QUOTE ]

No way around that /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif Both monetarily and as far as natural resources are concerned. I think I used more paper towels in the first year of my daughters life than I did in the previous 10 years by myself /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[ QUOTE ]
The world's population is growing at an unsustainable rate as it is.

[/ QUOTE ]
I have some small problems with this as a reason not to have children. If you want to use this as a reason not to have 10 children then I'll support you, but not as a reason to not have any at all. Just because some people suffer from the reverse darwinism of failed contraception doesn't mean that you shouldn't plan to have your own. Children can be a drain on resources but they also grow up to be smart people that can do things in the world for good as well as evil /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[ QUOTE ]
If you've got a kid, you're tied down to looking after it full time for at least the first 14 years.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea, thats kind of in the rule book. But so what? what are you doing evenings that you can't put off for a couple of years. they start preschool at 4 and kindergarden at 5 (which is a full day most places now days) and then it's off to regular school. I think you're young yourself if you're that worried about this. i do have to say that seeing the latest movies has moved down quite a bit on my list since we had kids /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif But looking back I can't really feel I've missed much thats really important by having to put those things off...

[ QUOTE ]
Would you ever forgive yourself if something happened to it?

[/ QUOTE ]

OF course! You shun responsibility don't you /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif It's not as bad as you think. There are some truly miserable moments at 2am and 3am and 4am and 5am but overall the time goes very quickly and you find ways to keep them safe and decide to whom and where you are going to place your trust to care for them when you're not looking over your shoulder at them.

[ QUOTE ]
Children make mess

[/ QUOTE ]

Children can be taught to clean up said mess or that which the mess is made of goes away and can no longer be played with. I think kids need a certain amount of leeway here, i don't believe in terrible vengeance from on high over stupid little things, but I enforce politeness and attention to grown ups and all the other little important things that make the difference between an annoying kid and one that you're amazed to speak with. You have to remind them 100 times to get it to come out properly once, but then one day they say "excuse me daddy, please may I have (whatever)" and then "thank you" and you sit there for the next half hour just smiling at them cause you know that your programming worked and that they will be all the better in the world for all your hard work! And then you look at that little person where there was no person before and whether you thank god or just think that it's the neatest confluence of probability in the universe it's still by far the most amazing thing you've ever been a part of. You think you understand logically that you will love your children, but you don't understand the depth of it until you have them. They are amazing little people and I wouldn't give up mine for all the nights out on the town, clean apartments, polite grown up conversation, lack of poopy diapers, saved world resources or anything else in the whole wide world.

Now I think I'll go up and make sure they are still tucked in and go to bed myself.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 

jtr1962

Flashaholic
Joined
Nov 22, 2003
Messages
7,506
Location
Flushing, NY
[ QUOTE ]
Zelandeth said:
I guess I'm not the best person to ask on this subject, but feel I may as well put forward some of my views.

Firstly, the disclaimer: I admit completely to having absolutely no paternal instincts whatsoever!

Reasons I'd not have children.

1. Children are expensive. And no, there's no way to deny it!
2. The world's population is growing at an unsustainable rate as it is.
3. If you've got a kid, you're tied down to looking after it full time for at least the first 14 years.
4. Would you ever forgive yourself if something happened to it?
5. Children make mess.
6. They also ignore instructions, and whine a lot. At least all the ones I encounter on a regular basis do.

I'm not mean to them when I meet them, but it's a case of being able to "put up" with them on a short term basis. Put me in the same house as a kid and I'm pretty sure I'd go crazy. A screaming baby can drive me around the bend within five minutes. More than once I've got off a bus home from college and waited over an hour for the next one, just to avoid said baby.

I really don't think I'd make a good father, it just frustrates me trying to deal with kids, they just have no concept of logic at all. Then again, neither do many adults, which I guess is why I tend to look so confused all the time.


[/ QUOTE ]
You basically wrote the same thing I intended to write. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I hate it when people will say that having children is the only reason to live. That basically reduces us to insects who exist only to make more of themselves. I like to think human beings are more than that. I life lived without children is hardly a life wasted.

P.S. To add to your comments about babies, to me they only serve one purpose-to test Newton's laws of gravity. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif While I have no great love at all for children, I really, really hate babies with a purple passion. Children under about five come a close second. They never, ever, listen.

And I think all children should be kept in cages at least until the age of ten. Seriously. I can deal with older children in small doses, though, and sometimes actually like teenagers.
 

raggie33

*the raggedier*
Joined
Aug 11, 2003
Messages
13,453
i just dont have the skills to be a father .and a course i dont wana spread my genes.it takes a lot more to be a father then to have a kid hope tht make sence
 

Minimoog

Enlightened
Joined
Jan 13, 2005
Messages
771
Hi Raggie,

I kinda know how you feel. My problem is I tend to be very shy - some guys race up to a gal if she catches his eye and asks her out without any problems. I end up going red and fumbling my words. I have almost given up in fact...

Part of the problem is that by asking a girl out, you are putting yourself 'on trial'. You are opening your heart as wide as it will go by saying 'do you want to go out with me' and if she feels that you are not up to scratch, then the answer comes back 'no thanks' - with no explanation given. "What did I do wrong" I think. Get turned down enough times and self esteem and hapiness suffers. The lines of the Joe Jackson song often come to my mind:

"Mama always told me: save yourself. Take a little time and find the right girl. Then again dont end up on the shelf. Logical advice gets you in a whirl."

However I now have a slightly different view on this. During my visit to Ukraine, I found the girls so much more friendly than in the UK and US. They seem to be much more open and kindly. They are VERY pretty too! During my stay I was asked to dance by a very nice young lady and whilst sitting on a bench, two young ladies joined me and said "Hello" in Russian. When they found out that I was British, they spoke to me in English and showed me around the town. They don't seem to judge men on the same standards as most 'more developed' countries, and long may it last. I have since found out that alot of men from the UK visit Ukraine to find a wife if they have given up at home. I told my Ukraine friend about the situation with girls back at home and he could not believe it.

Sorry for rambling, but I feel that a companion should come first and then the choice to have children can be a mutual decision. It is just unfortunate that finding a partner is so difficult.
 

Lurker

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Nov 6, 2002
Messages
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The South
My son turns 2 this week. My only comment is that even though I expected parenting to be very hard, it is even harder than I ever imagined. It has also slowly become more rewarding than I thought, but to be honest, the hard stuff is 99% so far and the rewarding stuff is 1%.

So I'd have to say that those who do not want kids are probably making a logical decision. But those who want them are making an emotional decision and nobody is wrong.
 
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