There may have been a link to this but I searched for Abbott and Costello and couldn't find it. I know Who's on First is around someplace also
Costello calls Abbott to buy a computer….
Costello: I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, the name's Lou.
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.
Abbott: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer with software.
Abbott: Software for Windows?
Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott: I just did.
Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Abbott: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.
Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel two, three and four. Can I watch them?
Abbott: Of course.
Costello: Great! With what?
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Abbott: You click the blue "1."
Costello: Is that a word?
Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office and has nothing to do with Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
Abbott: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world and to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
Costello: Stop! Don't start again with the word. What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can use to track my money?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: That's right. What do you have?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer
Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Abbott: One copy.
Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?
Abbott: Why not? They own it.
A few days later…
Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Costello: How do I turn my computer off?
Abbott: Click on START…
I hope you enjoyed this little spoof and can laugh at your technology foibles instead of feeling inept – you are not alone!
Costello calls Abbott to buy a computer….
Costello: I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, the name's Lou.
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.
Abbott: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer with software.
Abbott: Software for Windows?
Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott: I just did.
Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Abbott: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.
Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel two, three and four. Can I watch them?
Abbott: Of course.
Costello: Great! With what?
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Abbott: You click the blue "1."
Costello: Is that a word?
Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office and has nothing to do with Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
Abbott: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world and to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
Costello: Stop! Don't start again with the word. What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can use to track my money?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: That's right. What do you have?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer
Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Abbott: One copy.
Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?
Abbott: Why not? They own it.
A few days later…
Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
Costello: How do I turn my computer off?
Abbott: Click on START…
I hope you enjoyed this little spoof and can laugh at your technology foibles instead of feeling inept – you are not alone!
