Redneck Gorilla Sex

A small redneck Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very "in the mood", and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.

So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.

"First, " he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."

The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

"Well, " said Ed, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."

Very Funny

And talking of monkeys .......

A man walked into a bar with his pet monkey. The bartender said, "You can't bring that monkey in here!" The man said, "Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble."

Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball. The bartender yelled, "Hey, he just ate my cue ball. No one can play pool anymore! Get out!"

The man left but came back one week later with his monkey. He apologized to the bartender and promised no more trouble. The bartender let him and the monkey stay.

Later that night, the monkey walked over to a bowl of grapes, put one in his ***, and then ate it. The bartender said, "That's disgusting! Why did he do that!"

The man said, "Since he swallowed the cue ball, he sizes everything up before he eats it."

>>"Well, " said Ed, "You gotta give me another >>week to come up with the $500."

I would've used the visa for a cash advance!

>>"Since he swallowed the cue ball, he sizes >>everything up before he eats it."

I do the same thing when I order the nuclear chicken wings, get lots of funny looks.

;>)

Originally posted by webley445:

I do the same thing when I order the nuclear chicken wings, get lots of funny looks.

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I just hope it is chicken

LOL !!!

That is really quite funny. It also brightened up my day! Thanx

I've been lurking for long enough and after seeing these jokes just had to say that this is one of the friendliest and well run boards I have ever visited.

It cheers me up every time I logon