Are the Holidays really Holidays?

I've been noticing more and more as i get older that the holidays seem to be more stressful and less enjoyable. I find that most of my time is spent arranging flights, fighting traffic, paying bills, dealing with emotional family members, and eating too much. Not to sound too depressing or anything but lately I've been wondering what ever happened to that excitement and anticipation of the holiday season. I thought it was a time to relax and enjoy time with family but for the last 7 years or so, and especially after i turned 30, it hasn't been very much fun. I find my number one priority isn't family, traveling, and fun, but rent, bills, and career. Maybe its because i'm not more settled financially, don't own a home, and other reasons. But its not just me. I've noticed most of my friends, especially the ones with children, are completely crazy this time of year. Aside from getting together with friends, which also seems to be a lot of work, the holidays just don't seem to be holidays anymore. More like "can't wait until the day after new years." I hope this doesn't sound depressing because i actually love this time of year. It just seems I'm not able to enjoy it very much. Anyone else feel this way?

One thing I've noticed as I get older is the lack of tolerance for Christmas music. But when I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special or the the smell of a Christmas; I'm a (misty eyed) little boy.

chiphead

Why do you think the suicide rates are the highest this time of year? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

I love Christmas music!! The girls in the pharmacy have their CD player under the counter and as they are processing 'scripts, they listen to Metallica, Alice in Chains, Rammstein... when I have control of the computer, I listen to Matchbox 20 and Fountains of Wayne. On Monday, I will be bringing in my Mannheim Steamroller Christmas discs and TransSyberian Orchestra... they can suck it up... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/santa.gif

AND.... Screw all this "Happy Holidays" crap.... I tell people, "Merry Christmas!" ... I'm sick of all this PC stuff... get over it! It's CHRISTMAS!!




You make of it what you want. Yeah, bills and family and all that can really be draining but I guess it's just up to you to do what you can and not make excuses or allow yourself to be sucked into the drama. The season is for YOU also. So do what makes YOU happy... even if it's something simple like watching Charlie Brown and getting misty... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

So who still gets misty-eyed while watching Rudolph and loves the sound of Burl Ives voice? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink2.gif

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Sasha said:
So who still gets misty-eyed while watching Rudolph and loves the sound of Burl Ives voice? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink2.gif

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I think Rudolph is cool, same with Frosty the Snowman. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/happy14.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
I have A Christmas Carol (the original B&W version) and A Christmas Story on DVD this year, so even if I don't see them on TV, I can just pop in the discs and watch them. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumbsup.gif
And I'm sure I can find It's A Wonderful Life on TV again; I watch it every year. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

I'm with Sasha in that "Merry Christmas" is what it's all about. To heck with the PCness - some people choose to feel offended when none is intended. After some years of thinking I was hearing too much seasonal music, I have been enjoying listening to Christmas music again.

I will definately agree, however, that each Christmas has gotten more stressful, in the last decade, for our family. The demands and situations have conspired to ruin much of the season's spirit. This occurs inspite of knowing the pitfalls of burnout and saying NO to many requests. I long for the slower pace of the 1950's - 1980's. Things are out of hand these days for many people.

We remain hopeful that this year we will be able to slow things down and enjoy a more relaxing Christmas. Unfortunately, my wife's full-time college classes end only ONE DAY before Christmas...and she attends a CATHOLIC college! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon8.gif

jay... wanna know how I solved the whole family-stress of the holidays thing? I moved 3000 miles away from them! I love them all but they make life very stressful during ANY holiday. My daughter and I will be flying back east to see everyone for one week at the beginning of December. Then we will be able to enjoy our holidays here by ourselves with our rational and undemanding friends... stress-free! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/santa.gif

Thanks for the suggestion, Sasha, as I'm sure that, in many cases, family is the biggest stressor.

I, however, am most fortunate to have a wonderful family who doesn't impose too much. For me, it's mostly other demands that I'm trying to manage and one of these years I may get the upper hand...Yeah, sure.

Still, I appreciate the thought and who knows, maybe I'll head out to AZ and become one of your neighbors. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/str.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/aaa.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mecry.gif

Make the decision to become a believing Christian, attend a Bible study and a church, then CHRISTmas will one day have more meaning for you. Then you can make these into the joyous and HOLI-days they are meant to be and move away from the world's stressful commercial exploitation.

All of my holidays (and pretty much everything else) is less stressful without family.

I never get tired of "A Christmas Story".

In some ways I'm glad when it's over -- if you're still alive on January 1st you are through the most dangerous part of the whole year for some kinds of violent crime. Now is the time to be more careful when you're trying to get to your cars.

Can anyone count the number of version of A Christmas Carol are there? Right now I'm up to 20 and this doesn't include the year 2004!

chiphead

Easier sayed than done.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gifchiphead

I found the holidays to be much more enjoyable when I took them a day at a time and didn't build up any expectations for them.

Of course, the stress of troublesome family members, shopping, semi-mandatory social events, and money can cast a dark cloud over anything.

A co-worker of mine pointed out something interesting to me about Christmas in America (he's from El Salvador). Americans tend to celebrate Christmas in relative isolation with just their families. In Central America, it's a community celebration, with fireworks, public banquets, etc - more like a festival. I find that notion of Christmas somewhat more appealing than the traditional notion since it doesn't involve isolation with the (troublesome) relatives for days on end.

'My $0.02.

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Sasha said:
So who still gets misty-eyed while watching Rudolph and loves the sound of Burl Ives voice? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink2.gif

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If you're interested, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (the Burl Ives version) will be on Wednesday evening on CBS.
At least here in Seattle, it will be. I saw the teaser on KIRO-7 CBS last night.

Wednesday 12-01-04, 8:00pm PST.

Idle, you pointed out what I've heard from European friends and family - we isolate ourselves and engage in an orgy of material acquisitions. Many other cultures still maintain the true Christmas spirit and share it with their community at large.

At least we have been informed that there is an alternative.

tygger,

I hear you! An important strategy of mine is to head things off at the pass: make decisions and stick to them; simplify your life; take time for yourself; do some yoga, mediatate, take a bath, a spa, go to a movie, make a pot of coffee, or whatever relaxes you. If all the presents and birthdays and planning is too much and you're not enjoying it, then CUT IT OUT! Not to sound unfeeling, but if exchanging gifts with people you never keep in touch with is an exercise in frustration, then just simply DON'T DO IT. Easy to say. Easy to do. But the consequences may be something else. Eh. Whatever. It'll blow over. For example, my wife and I have to deal with an INSANE number of birthdays this time of year: her mother, my mother, her sister, my sister, my sister in-law, her birthday, my birthday. It just got to be too much, and I told my brother that we weren't going to send his wife presents, and she didn't need to send us presents. After all, it's the thought that counts, and it's just so crazy to try to buy a present for someone you don't even know and never see! For the rest, we have been trying to hand make all our presents. This year I think we will be more sucessful than ever before.

You put stress on yourself. Make some choices. Don't do it. Let certain things go in favor of more imortant things.

Christmas and the other Holidays are about more important things. Refuse to stress yourself out. What's the worst that could happen? You'll have a bad holiday season? That's already happening anyway. You have nothing to lose. Try something different.

Good luck! It's something so many of us struggle with, I think. Hope some of this helped. God knows I'm no expert at avoiding stress and creating expectations.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (the Burl Ives version) is on right now on CBS. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
Frosty the Snowman comes on at 8:00pm PST this Friday on CBS.