My two-year old was messing around with something the other day and I said, "I'm going to take that out back and burn it."
My wife looked at our son and said, "don't worry. Mommy doesn't let Daddy play with matches anymore."
I mean really, you set 5 acres on fire just once and they take away your Zippo forever. And it wasn't really out of control. The fire department actually said so. I mean, really, we had two tractors with front end buckets cutting fire breaks.
But man, I tell you, a couple bowling pins and an old tire burn like they were doused with gasoline. Oh wait, no, it was diesel they were doused, uh, maybe I should invoke my right to remain silent......