Aviation humor for flashaholics

[Photon]

Scene: Student and instructor are on a dual, night cross country.

Instructor: (Turns down the panel lights) "OK, you've just lost your lights, what are you going to do?"
(Student pulls out a flashlight.)
Student: "I get out my flashlight."
(Instructor grabs flashlight.)
Instructor: "The batteries are dead, now what are you going to do?"
(Student pulls out another flashlight.)
Student: "I get out my other flashlight."
(Instructor grabs next flashlight.)
Instructor: "The bulb is burned out on this one, now what?"
(Student pulls out yet a third flashlight.)
Student: "I use this flashlight."
(Instructor grabs this one too.)
Instructor: "ALL your flashlights are dead. Now what?"
Student: "I use this glow stick."
Instructor: "Sighhhhhh, just fly the plane without any lights, OK?"

 

[Size15's]

That's so true! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[B@rt]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif

 

[kongfuchicken]

Instructor: "The bulb is burned out on this one, now what?"
Student: "What bulb?"
Instructor: "The bulb in the flashlight!"
Student: "It's diode flashlight."
Instructor: "(...)"
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

 

[JackBlades]

I violently push forward on the stick and demand my flashlights be returned?? OR ELSE??

 

[danielo_d]

Awesome!!!

 

[Phil_B]

I needed a laugh,nice one mate. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/happy14.gif

 

[Orion]

Instructor: "Your battery has gone dead, now what?"
Student: "I pull out my fresh new cell that I always keep in my pocket."

Great humor! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[kongfuchicken]

Instructor: "What if you didn't have a flashlight on you?"
Student: *stares at the instructor for a second* "I don't get it."

 

[mut]

That is absolutely great. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif

mut

 

[BobVA]

I've got a list of aviation quotes somewhere. The definition of "flashlight" is "metal tube used to store dead batteries".

Cheers,
Bob

 

[JanCPF]

Student: "I use this glow stick."
(Instructor grabs this one too.)
Instructor: "You forgot that the glowstick has been used before so it doesn't work"
Student: "I open this bag of tritium glowrings an stick them on the instruments"
Instructor jumps out the window. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banghead.gif

 

[KevinL]

I can just imagine a flashaholic going for a flight.. cache of lithium batteries, spares carrier, spare lamps and half a dozen lights. What a way to ensure 99.999% ("Five-Nines") availability... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[JOshooter]

I have a friend who's dad is a pilot.


Scene: Night flight in a cloudless sky.

Back when they had flight engineers in the cockpit the pilot, co-pilot, and flight engineer spent a good 45 minutes unscrewing all the light bulbs, turning off the display screens, and getting rid of any other source of light. When all the light in the cockpit was out both pilots shrunk down in their chairs and the engineer hid in the coat closet. The pilot pushed the call stewardess button and they all waited. The stewardess entered seeing a pitch black cockpit and out the windows was the moon and the ground. All of a sudden the flight engineer grabed the stewardess' leg.


That would have been an interesting flight...

 

[Deanster]

LOL!

Tritium Betalight... ummmm... Your Betalight is past its half-life!

 

[Roy]

......but then it would be only HALF as bright! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/clap.gif

 

[fuelblender]

[ QUOTE ]
JOshooter said:
I have a friend who's dad is a pilot.


Scene: Night flight in a cloudless sky.

Back when they had flight engineers in the cockpit the pilot, co-pilot, and flight engineer spent a good 45 minutes unscrewing all the light bulbs, turning off the display screens, and getting rid of any other source of light. When all the light in the cockpit was out both pilots shrunk down in their chairs and the engineer hid in the coat closet. The pilot pushed the call stewardess button and they all waited. The stewardess entered seeing a pitch black cockpit and out the windows was the moon and the ground. All of a sudden the flight engineer grabed the stewardess' leg.


That would have been an interesting flight...

[/ QUOTE ]

I nominate this as a classic!