Self Loathing thread

[Hallis]

Blah, I feel like crap. Not physically ill or anything. Just bored, depressed, whatever you want to call it. Im 24 years old and have absolutely no life. Havent even been on a date in 3 years. I just feel like my life is passing me by. I dont have any friends so i dont ever get out of the house to do stuff because i HATE going places alone. Only times i ever go out is with my 19 year old brother and his girlfriend. It's good to get out but i feel worse about the whole being single thing because they're together.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/sick.gif

 

[matt_j]

all right... I got two words for ya: online dating. Works for me and even if nothing works out as far as the relationship goes you may make a good friend out of someone.

 

[Hallis]

been trying that for the past 6 years.

 

[Greta]

Um... forgive me for being blunt... but... well... it MAY have something to do with your looks...

... one word darlin'... DERMABRASION!


All tongue in cheek, of course... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[bwaites]

This from the woman whos old avatar looked like a medieval version of an Oakland Raiders Fan!;)

Bill

P.S. I like the new avatar MUCH better, BTW!!!

 

[Lasernerd]

Hey tonight is Friday,,just get up and go to a club!
Even by yourself you will feel a little out of place but that will wear off fast

 

[jtice]

I know what you mean man,,,

Im 24 also, 25 in november, and also feel like you some days.
You get in a rut, and theres nothing new each day, makes you feel like you are goingh through the motions.
Goto work, come home, maybe mod alittle /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif, sleep, goto work, ... .... .... ....

I get out just about every saturday though, go hiking, paintballing, take photos, etc.
But thats about it.
Havnet been on a date for years, after school, theres not much chance to meat ppl, especially if you dont goto the bars etc.
Im not much of a drinker, and hate the bar scene, its not that im totally unsocial, I just dont like large groups of ppl, I like close tight nit groups.

Thats why im getting into modding/creating more lately, keeps me busy, makes me feel like I am doing something.
I hate the feeling of being stuck, and not advancing in life,,, but through life.

-John

 

[LitFuse]

Ummm, John, I think you may have spelled that a little wrong.

I think you want to "meet" them first, you know introduce yourself. Get to know them a little. The other thing comes later. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Peter

 

[jtice]

Peter, er ah, yea meet lol /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

I guess thats what I get for correcting you Arc LS post. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

-John

 

[js]

Hallis,

Two quick suggestions for meeting people:

1. Volunteer for something in your community. Whatever you think is a worthwhile and honorable cause. It could be AIDS work, library, big-brother, some kind of hot-line, political, ... whatever. But this is one place where you are likely to meet some pretty decent and interesting people.

2. Take a class or lessons of some sort. Musical instrument, dance, painting, auto-mechanics, stone wall building, . . . whatever strikes your fancy.

Those are the two best things I can think of, and they have worked for me in the past. Plus, even if they don't lead to you meeting the woman of your dreams, at least they are interesting, get you out of the house, and earn some self-respect for yourself.

But also, if you can, try to go hang out at a coffee shop or book store or such-like. You never know who you might bump into or what conversation you might strike up. I met a blacksmith/custom knife maker this way and he invited me to come to his studio. Also met the local roast-master, and he took me back to see the roaster and to try some single-origin espresso.

Just be open to stuff and it will happen. Try to imagine what you want. Try to breath properly. While you're sitting at home stewing, why not try meditation?

Anyway, all that said, I must say that I TOTALLY understand where you're comming from. Been there, done that. Too many times. I hope it gets better soon, but if not, hang out with us flashlight weirdos some more. One can never have too much CPF, right? . . . .er, right?

(fainter, small voice) . . . right?

 

[turbodog]

Get out and go do something outrageous. Anything.

I'm actually gonna pack up my mtn bike and fly across the US to CO this spring. From there I will depart with a group of strangers (7 of them) for a bike ride through the backcountry and mountains that'll last 7 days, with no contact with civilization at all.

Wild, I know. (some people are saying more like stupid) I realized that I have arrived at where I wanted to go. Now I'm branching out into other areas from my base of operations.

You single guys.... use this time well. After marriage and kids it is a lot harder.

 

[LifeNRA]

Heck just go to Wal-Mart or the supermarket and walk around. I have been married for 15 years this Oct. 14 and I get hit on all the time in those places. Or maybe there are just a lot of desperate women where I live /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif.

 

[turbodog]

If you guys mtn bike, feel free to come along. There are still spots available. More on biking.... I get out and go to races all over the US now. It's a blast meeting people from who knows where. The biking is fun. The races are challenging; they give me a good reason to go to the gym. Hobbies are nice. You might wanna pick up a more social one though.

I have a good size race next week in atlanta. There will be about 1500 racers there. We have a 5 man team and plan to keep SOMEONE riding the course for the entire 24 hours of the race. There are about 15 of these races each year all over the US. West Virginia has the biggest one of all. Last year 30,000 spectators showed up for it. I have NO idea how many racers where there. Jtice.... isn't that close to you? Why not drop in at atlanta next weekend. We'll have our canopy there and be hanging out (when not peddling).

 

[jtice]

Where are they held in WV?
I am in Fairmont, (between Morgantown, and Clarksburg)

I dont think I have heard of this before. hmm /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif

 

[turbodog]

Showshoe, WV. Check out www.grannygear.com

 

[turbodog]

Hmmmm, made a typo on the spectators. More like 3000. Still, that's a LOT of people in either case.

 

[turbodog]

Mapquest shows 2 hours and 51 minutes from your house. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

 

[turbodog]

Then again, it shows 10 hours from atlanta. Why not make a road trip next weekend?

 

[Sub_Umbra]

[ QUOTE ]
LifeNRA said:
Heck just go to Wal-Mart or the supermarket and walk around. I have been married for 15 years this Oct. 14 and I get hit on all the time in those places. Or maybe there are just a lot of desperate women where I live /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif.

[/ QUOTE ]

I swear that there's some unwritten law of the universe that states that you will never be hit on by women until you are already into a serious relationship. Geeze...

Seriously, look around at what's going on in community theater in your area. Check out the technical end of volunteer theater. I worked in technical theater for years and it has a number of things going for it socially.

First of all, the ratio of women to guys who have any interest in women is incredible. Women involved in theater are always complaining about how few...ahem...guys there are to go out with. You'll have to see it to believe it.

Secondly, it's an interesting bunch of people who like to have fun.

Third, you have much to offer.

That's where I met my wife.

 

[coachbigdog]

This might be long BUT PLEASE READ IT:Here's my 2 cents: This MIGHT sound preachy,but just hang on.I felt the SAME way for most of my life even though I had 2 kids and a wonderful wife.I STILL felt "empty" most of the time.Finally,God got a hold of me! I always knew in my heart that God wanted me to minister to young people.Long story short,I have never been happier.I still have my "days",don't get me wrong.But I've found PURPOSE.Here's what I'm saying.Find something you enjoy doing and go out and do it for someone else.Volunteer as a big brother or sister.Help Habitat for Humanity build a home for someone.Help and elderly person mow their lawn.Go volunteer coach at a high school or recreation center.Or whatever.You'll be surprised how "fulfilled" you'll feel when you make a difference in someones life! So many young adults feel as you do because "going out" or partying are SELF-FULFILLING.But those feelings are temporary at best.(BTW I'm not saying you even do these things,but many do)Helping someone else,changing a kid's life,that will last forever!!