err i dont know if quckbeam is still speaking to me. i did some thing very stupid on monday night and unfortunitly i think i killed our freindship. i know i know it was an "ego moment" and i was a fool. this week has been kinda downer because of it. man if i could just do it all over agian....
i keep saying to myself why why why did you say that? even if he had been cool with it what wouldit have gained me? nothing. the terrible thing is it was really a jest. i was slightly annoyed but wanted to act important. yeah i was important alright. i was as important as bill clinton is honest
. i reread it the next day and was agast a my stupidity and creulty to someone who had given me so much. i hate cowards and it makes me very ashamed to think i stooped low enough to say something here id never dream of saying to him personaly. thats right i hid behind the computer and spoke with such bravado and criticized someone niether deserved or could imidiatly defend himself. that aint right- thats low. thats not how i opperate either. thats why im so unhappy. the funny thing is - other than write one reply to defend himself he never publicly retaliated or denounced me as a backstabber. thats just the kind of guy he is. thats what made me value his opinions and enjoy palling around with him so much. i put up a nice facade this week but things have not gone well for me since tuesday to tell the truth. i just hope he reads this and understands and forgives although he is not to be blamed if he doesn't
as for the beam -well ya know how some white leds have a very light blue hotspot? well id say its kinda like that. only brighter of course
