Any devout catholics here?

[RdlyLite]

I will try to keep this as short as possible. Recently my long time relationship (in retrospect, too long without taking the next step) with my gf ended. I having a real time dealing with it becuase she was my only GF, ever. I feel like a great big void is left. And I have little to no practical social skills to work with. Lol. I have been trying to look for POSITIVE avenues to get my life back on track. I love the outdoors and staying in shape so that is one thing I am working on. Plus, I have been looking into getting back to my Catholic roots. I have and always have felt most comfortable with doing the 'right' thing. And herein lies my question: Are there any devout catholics here that may be open to giving me or answering questions (privately or openly) that I may encounter along the way to re-discovering my Catholic roots?

 

[jimjones3630]

Rdlylite,

Welcome to CPF and thanks for sharing your feelings and desire.
I am like you in was away from my faith and the church for many years. tried different religions didn't feel right until got back into the Catholic chruch. These hard ships we all go through in life challange us to choose either to trust in God or despair. Maybe doesn't seem like despair at first just dissatisfaction, don't like what happened.

So being around people of like faith helps us so we see that we are not alone.

http://forums.catholic.com/index.php?&

Oh how I felt sorry about loosing this or that and I do remember my first gf. What God ultimately has for us are gifts of a higher order. Higher order meaning gifts that do satisfy, don't get sick, don't get old, don't die but last for ever. What we do as Christians is exchange things of a lower order- gets sick, gets old, does die, money that doesn't satisfiy, etc.-for things of a higher order. I haven't given anything up all I have done is gain valuable gifts.

Latter this month I'll celebrate 5 yrs Ordination as a Priest. A second vocation in life as I am older but the most rewarding.

Peace in Christ,
Rev. Fr. James

 

[jtr1962]

I having a real time dealing with it becuase she was my only GF, ever. I feel like a great big void is left.

Although I can't help you much with the rediscovering your religious roots part since I've never had any such beliefs, I can relate to this part of your post. I was only in love once in my life. We were too young and poor to take it any further. When we went our separate ways I felt as you did. I even tried committing suicide my third year in college although there were other reasons there. Like you, I had few social skills. More importantly, once out of the school environment my opportunities for randomly encounting possibly suitable partners in a socially acceptable setting were pretty much nil. Even if I had met someone, most likely in the inevitable comparisons to my only true love they would come up short. After all, she was smart, kind, very beautiful. We had a cameraderie I hadn't known before or since. In short, I was alone, and reasoned I would probably remain so for the remainder of my natural life. I had the luck, or perhaps misfortune, of meeting my true soulmate at a time in my life when neither of us were ready for it on many levels. I had hoped we would reunite when we were better established in our 20s or 30s, but it never happened. To this day I don't know what happened to her. I tried a few times to get in touch with her but it was as if she fell off the face of the Earth. For all I know, she may have attempted suicide as I did, and been successful. I'm not sure I'd really want to know something like that, so I put it all to rest. I always hope in the back of my mind that we'll one day encounter each other, perhaps take up where we left off.

My point in all this I guess is to tell you that you can have a reasonably fulfilling life alone if need be. It's been over 25 years since we've gone our separate ways. I've not only learned to cope, but I've tried as best I could to make some sort of life for myself. I know I'll always be alone most of the time. That's part and parcel to being the type of person I am. I've learned to like myself. Hopefully this comes through in my relationships with others. I also did the exercise thing. I've ridden over 56,000 miles since 1980, probably walked over 10,000. I figured should I ever meet someone special, my odds are better if I'm in decent shape. How a person's body looks reflects how they feel about themselves inside. Self-confidence is the one thing desireable partners usually look for before anything else. My advice to anyone in the situation you're in is to not give up, not let yourself go. So many who have heartbreaks turn to drugs, alcohol, casual sex to ease the pain. In the end they become "losers", and so only attract other losers. I may never again have a soulmate, but I've vowed to not let it destroy me.

I hope you find what you're looking for. Also, I'll add another bit of advice which I hope you won't take in the wrong way. I've found in my life that religious beliefs are often used as a crutch, as an excuse to not take charge of your life. The usual lines I hear are either that "God wants me suffer as part of his larger plan", or "If I pray enough everything will turn out fine". In the end there's nothing wrong if you use your spiritual beliefs solely for guidance in deciding which courses of action to take, but remember in the end that more in your life is under your control than isn't. I'll also add that if you've been away from religious roots for this long, maybe there is nothing left to return to. Despite being brought up as a Catholic, having religious instruction weekly until fifth grade, I've just never found anything there for me. The concept of faith is utterly alien to me. Not just within me, but even understanding it within others. I know this isn't the kind of advice you're asking for, but I feel it may be of help. Religion can be a positive or a negative thing. A lot depends upon the person. Think long and hard about why you're suddenly seeking to return to your Catholic roots. People often do this when misfortune strikes. IMHO I think it's the worst time to do so, especially if it hinders real action on your part to better your life .

 

[Greta]

I think our good Reverend, jimjones3630, has provided an excellent link for this topic to continue. Sorry guys... but I'm not even going to wait for this one to go south... 'cuz it will... and I doubt any of you will argue with me on that one.

RdlyLite... good luck with your search for comfort...

This thread is now closed.