D40Cvn Tell Jokes Giveaway!

[MaxBeam]

#5206
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

[MaxBeam]

#1188

A Grandfather is talking to his grandson "You know in the good old days, you could go to a store with a quarter, and get a loaf of bread,a dozen eggs, a watermelon,and a brand new bike.But today, you can't do that, nope,…………………………………there's just way to many surveillance cameras.

 

[MaxBeam]

#461

A man telephoned the airline office and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said, "Just a minute…" "Thank you," the man said and hung up.

 

[MaxBeam]

#605

Q.What does JCpenny and teenagers have in common.
A.Pants 50% off.

 

[MaxBeam]

#995

A man walked into a lawyers office and asked about the fee. The lawyer responded" it's 50$ for 3 questions," "isn't that a lot asked the man" " yes" responded the lawyer……………."and whats your third question?"

 

[MaxBeam]

#1391

Q. How did the blonde die while drinking milk.
A.The cow sat down.

 

[MaxBeam]

#169

I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was missing!

 

[MaxBeam]

#2213

Q. What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?
A. I can't believe someone would stoop so low.

 

[MaxBeam]

#2233

Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin' robins.

 

[MaxBeam]

#2611

. Escalators don't break down… they just turn into stairs

 

[MaxBeam]

#3009

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing… except when you're at a funeral

 

[MaxBeam]

#3215

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

[MaxBeam]

#3387

A blind man walks into a bar….And a table, and a chair.

 

[MaxBeam]

#3396

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?

 

[maro69camaro]

wow lol

 

[MaxBeam]

#3447

Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it's too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it's too lame.

 

[MaxBeam]

#3493

I used to be in a band, we were called 'lost dog'. You probably saw our posters.

 

[MaxBeam]

#3571

I childproofed the house… but they still get in!

 

[MaxBeam]

#4004

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that.

 

[MaxBeam]

#4326

I overheard a father yelling at his toddler who refused to sit still in the shopping cart "If you fall down and break your leg don't come running to me."