bindibadgi
Flashlight Enthusiast
What do you call a potato that does math?
A square root.
A square root.
Groaner
- Thread starter Roy
- Start date
Stainless
Flashlight Enthusiast
[ QUOTE ]
darkgear.com said:
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate....
...My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
[/ QUOTE ]
Tell us about about when you worked in a pigment factory - or is that an "off color" story?
darkgear.com said:
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate....
...My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
[/ QUOTE ]
Tell us about about when you worked in a pigment factory - or is that an "off color" story?
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
[ QUOTE ]
Stainless said:
[ QUOTE ]
darkgear.com said:
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate....
...My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
[/ QUOTE ]
Tell us about about when you worked in a pigment factory - or is that an "off color" story?
[/ QUOTE ]
It's probably stained him for life! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banned2.gif
Stainless said:
[ QUOTE ]
darkgear.com said:
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate....
...My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
[/ QUOTE ]
Tell us about about when you worked in a pigment factory - or is that an "off color" story?
[/ QUOTE ]
It's probably stained him for life! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banned2.gif
kongfuchicken
Flashlight Enthusiast
That was a very... colorful joke!
bindibadgi
Flashlight Enthusiast
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif
![Pampers Sensitive Baby Wipes, Clinically Proven, Fragrance Free, Unscented, Water Based, Hypoallergenic, Multi-Use, Hand Wipes 336 Wipes Total (6X Flip-Top Packs) [Packaging May Vary]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41KLBHu9CAL._SL500_.jpg)
kongfuchicken
Flashlight Enthusiast
I didn't post anything for a while, ok?
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/santa.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/santa.gif
AlexGT
Flashlight Enthusiast
Did you hear about the thugs who tried to rob a Japanese tourist bus? The police has 100,000 photos to help identify them...
What did the snail say riding on the back of a turtle?
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W-H-E-E-E-E-E-E!
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W-H-E-E-E-E-E-E!
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Definition of Ethernet:
What you use to catch the EtherBunny.
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
What you use to catch the EtherBunny.
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
UncleFester
Flashaholic*,
PW, that one's really bad. But I've got one too.
How come the dentist didn't give Peter Cotton Tail any novacaine?
Because he's the Ether Bunny!
How come the dentist didn't give Peter Cotton Tail any novacaine?
Because he's the Ether Bunny!
bindibadgi
Flashlight Enthusiast
How do they make dog biscuits?
With collie flour.
With collie flour.
The_LED_Museum
*Retired*
Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says "I've lost my electron."
The other says "Are you sure?"
The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
Friars behind on their belfry payments opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, a thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
One says "I've lost my electron."
The other says "Are you sure?"
The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
Friars behind on their belfry payments opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, a thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
IMTRBO
Newly Enlightened
American, Russian, and Australian representatives were at a conference, and while on a break, got to talking..
"We were the first country to send a person into space!", boasted the Russian representitive.
The American representative, not to be outdone, replied: "We were the first country to send a man to the moon!"
The Australian reqpresentative, not to be outdone, thought for a while and said: "We shall be the first country to send a man to the Sun!"
The American and Russian representatives looked at each other, then said: "Isn't it a little hot?"
The Australian representative thought for a while, then said: "I know! We'll do it at night!!"
"We were the first country to send a person into space!", boasted the Russian representitive.
The American representative, not to be outdone, replied: "We were the first country to send a man to the moon!"
The Australian reqpresentative, not to be outdone, thought for a while and said: "We shall be the first country to send a man to the Sun!"
The American and Russian representatives looked at each other, then said: "Isn't it a little hot?"
The Australian representative thought for a while, then said: "I know! We'll do it at night!!"
An oldie and the worst groaner ever--
The priests at Notre Dame were looking for a replacement bell ringer, and an armless, legless man begged for an audition. Since in his whole life he had wished only to make beautiful music on these famous bells, he was given a chance.
It was pitiful to watch him drag himself to the top of the tower, but even worse to see how he intended to make the bells ring. Since he could not pull the ropes, he threw his body at every bell he played, striking each note with the front of his head. The music, however, was the most joyous thing that anyone had ever heard, and his music and obvious devotion won him the position. Horribly, as he rejoyced, he slipped and fell off the side of the tower to his death.
The policeman invesetigating the accident asked a priest if he knew the name of the poor man.
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(this is bad)
"I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."
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BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE
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(You might want to think twice about going on to read more)
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(OK, you were warned)
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The next day a young man came to the cathedral and asked to audition for the position of bell ringer, and explained that it was his sibling who died. Also, he's very pious and a trained musician. His ability and talent were amazing, and his music brought tears to the eyes of everyone who could hear the bells. Of course, he got the position.
Overjoyed, and overcome with pride to the extent that his eyes filled with tears, and this caused him to slip and plunge to the base of the tower stairs where he died.
As the policeman investigating the terrible coincidence asked questions of a priest, he wondered about the identity of the second man.
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(I warned you -- this is really bad)
"I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
- (a different) Craig
The priests at Notre Dame were looking for a replacement bell ringer, and an armless, legless man begged for an audition. Since in his whole life he had wished only to make beautiful music on these famous bells, he was given a chance.
It was pitiful to watch him drag himself to the top of the tower, but even worse to see how he intended to make the bells ring. Since he could not pull the ropes, he threw his body at every bell he played, striking each note with the front of his head. The music, however, was the most joyous thing that anyone had ever heard, and his music and obvious devotion won him the position. Horribly, as he rejoyced, he slipped and fell off the side of the tower to his death.
The policeman invesetigating the accident asked a priest if he knew the name of the poor man.
.
.
.
.
(this is bad)
"I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."
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.
BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE
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.
.
.
.
(You might want to think twice about going on to read more)
.
.
.
.
.
.
(OK, you were warned)
.
.
The next day a young man came to the cathedral and asked to audition for the position of bell ringer, and explained that it was his sibling who died. Also, he's very pious and a trained musician. His ability and talent were amazing, and his music brought tears to the eyes of everyone who could hear the bells. Of course, he got the position.
Overjoyed, and overcome with pride to the extent that his eyes filled with tears, and this caused him to slip and plunge to the base of the tower stairs where he died.
As the policeman investigating the terrible coincidence asked questions of a priest, he wondered about the identity of the second man.
.
.
.
.
(I warned you -- this is really bad)
"I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
- (a different) Craig
bindibadgi
Flashlight Enthusiast
My colleagues are trying to force me to eat the last piece of cake.
Well, I guess if it's going to go to waste, it might as well go to mine.
Well, I guess if it's going to go to waste, it might as well go to mine.
jtivat
Flashlight Enthusiast
Confucius say
Man who go to bed with itchy butt
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Wake up with stinky finger
Man who go to bed with itchy butt
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Wake up with stinky finger
B@rt
Flashaholic
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
"Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
....
"Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
....
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
I have a photographic memory but I don't have any film
Latest posts
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Which discontinued flashlights do you wish were still made?- Latest: gottawearshades
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