You might be a flashaholic if...

[Hooked on Fenix]

I thought it might be fun for us to make up some flashlight jokes like Jeff Foxworthy makes redneck jokes. Instead of "You might be a redneck if" it'll be "You might be a Flashaholic if". I'll start.

If the combined brightness of all the flashlights in your house exceeds the brightness of all the normal lights in your house, yet you have no money left to pay the electric bill, you might be a flashaholic.

If your neighbors can't tell whether it's daytime or nighttime when you play with your flashlights, you might be a flashaholic.

If you stock more batteries in your house than money in your bank account, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever had to buy another dresser for your clothes because your flashlights took over the old one, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever lent a flashlight to a friend and had to spend more than a minute explaining how to make it work, you might be a flashaholic.

If you walk into a sporting goods store knowing that you're carrying the brightest flashlight in the store and still look in the flashlight section, you might be a flashaholic.

If you spend enough time reading up about flashlights and the jargon associated with them that you could have otherwise learned a foreign language, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever fasted for a day or more so you could afford to buy a Surefire flashlight, you might be a flashaholic.

If everyone you know is tired of getting flashlights as gifts for their birthdays and holidays, you might be a flashaholic.

If you're not satisfied with the best flashlights money can buy and have to make a light from scratch to be happy, you might be a flashaholic.

If there is a stack of Surefire catalogues near the toilet in your bathroom, you might be a flashaholic.

If you can charge every different size, chemistry, and voltage battery known to man from your home, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever considered modifying your car's headlights to run on l.e.d.s, you might be a flashaholic.

If you made sure that all of the walls in your house stayed white so you could compare tints on your new flashlights, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever given your infant a shakelight to use as a rattle, you might be a flashaholic.

 

[rizky_p]

that is so true..

If you walk into a sporting goods store knowing that you're carrying the brightest flashlight in the store and still look in the flashlight section

 

[ab1ht]

If you walk into a sporting goods store knowing that you're carrying the brightest flashlight in the store and still look in the flashlight section...

+2

 

[R@ndom]

There are 3 long threads about this already...

 

[Zeruel]

And this is one of them...

 

[Databyter]

If you've ever gone out of your way to use up all the power on your hotwire so you can top off the pack for the WOW factor, you might be a flash-o-holic.

If CPF Forums is the last thing you see before you go to bed and the first thing you see when you wake up, You might be a flasho-holic.

If E.D.C. to you means Every day collection, then you might be a flash-o-holic.

 

[R@ndom]

Well might as well contribute,

When you stir your coffee with a light.

Then you treat the foam on the lense as a diffuser

Then you comment on how warm the tint is with foam

etc

 

[Nyctophiliac]

When your Daughter is going away with her school class to the Isle of Wight, and your main concern is that she has enough spare batteries for the Mag C Led mod she is taking. ( and that she has a fauxton attached to every zip ).

I may be a flashaholic...but...

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

There are 3 long threads about this already...

Sorry, it was late. I was tired, and I forgot about those old threads. However, this hasn't been done in awhile so let's bring it back anyway, okay.

If you get stopped at a metal detector, are asked to empty your pockets, and pull out at least 5 flashlights, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've lost count of how many flashlights you own, you might be a flashaholic.

If the value of all of your flashlights combined exceeds the cost of a brand new car, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever cooked hotdogs with the heat from a spotlight, you might be a flashaholic.

If you think the change in daylight savings time to after Halloween ruined that holiday, you might be a flashaholic.

If your Jackolantern for Halloween is lit up brighter than most of the houses in your neighborhood, you might be a flashaholic.

If you own a flashlight that is too bright to use for almost anything, runs only 10 minutes, and gets too hot to use after 1 minute, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever dreamed about being the first person to light up Mars from Earth with a flashlight that fits in your pocket, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever placed a bet with someone over which flashlight is brighter, won, and the loser asked, "What did you do to that maglite?", you might be a flashaholic.

If your church youth group complains when you miss a beach trip because they couldn't see anything at night without you there, you might be a flashaholic.

 

[Flying Turtle]

Don't forget:

If you have imaginary power failures in order to use your flashlights and lanterns. (I would never do that.)

Geoff

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

If you've ever hand sewn a 5 foot long roll up carrier for some of your handheld flashlights, you might be a flashaholic.

(Yes, I'm guilty of this. It's made of uncoated ripstop nylon, thinsulate for padding and insulation, and thick polyester thread. It holds 21 flashlights, sized to fit each one, as well as 45 AAs in 3 sets of 15, 20 AAAs, and 20 123As in 5 separate compartments with a velcro closures for each compartment. The carrier weighs practically nothing empty.)

 

[SFG2Lman]

and you aren't selling them on the marketplace?!

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

and you aren't selling them on the marketplace?!

Sorry, too much work to make another one. Took a week of my spare time to make the one. Had to sew around each spot to match each different flashlight. Had to alternate between lights with flanged heads and straight heads to make them not rub against each other. Had to go from skinniest lights to fattest lights to battery sections to make sure it rolled up smaller and to keep batteries from getting crushed and bent. You're free to try and make one yourself.

 

[angelofwar]

If there is a stack of Surefire catalogues near the toilet in your bathroom, you might be a flashaholic.

Guilty...does that mean I'm a flashaholic??? I have the 05/06/and 09 catalogs, sittin' right there with the T.P....

 

[Nyctophiliac]

If you get stopped at a metal detector, are asked to empty your pockets, and pull out at least 5 flashlights, you might be a flashaholic.

Only five?

You're just not getting into the spirit of the thing at all!!! :nana:

 

[jch79]

When you realize that you're at least the seventh person to start a thread on the same joke! :laughing:

You Might be a Flashaholic if ...
Light Humour - You Know You Are A Flashaholic When ...
You become a true FLASHAHOLIC when?
You might have a flashlight problem if...
You Know You're a flashaholic when ....
You KNOW You're A Flashoholic When...

:thumbsup: john

 

[defloyd77]

If yeeeew ever disappointed a beautiful young lady by showing her that it IS a flashlight in your pocket, you just might be a flashaholic.

 

[thedoc007]

If this is a repeat, ignore it.

I just took pictures of my incorrectly sized P25 holster using my M20S-X with diffuser, with my camera phone in the other hand.

You might be a flashaholic if you use a flashlight to take pictures of your flashlights!

 

[holylight]

Sorry, it was late. I was tired, and I forgot about those old threads. However, this hasn't been done in awhile so let's bring it back anyway, okay.

If you get stopped at a metal detector, are asked to empty your pockets, and pull out at least 5 flashlights, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've lost count of how many flashlights you own, you might be a flashaholic.

If the value of all of your flashlights combined exceeds the cost of a brand new car, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever cooked hotdogs with the heat from a spotlight, you might be a flashaholic.

If you think the change in daylight savings time to after Halloween ruined that holiday, you might be a flashaholic.

If your Jackolantern for Halloween is lit up brighter than most of the houses in your neighborhood, you might be a flashaholic.

If you own a flashlight that is too bright to use for almost anything, runs only 10 minutes, and gets too hot to use after 1 minute, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever dreamed about being the first person to light up Mars from Earth with a flashlight that fits in your pocket, you might be a flashaholic.

If you've ever placed a bet with someone over which flashlight is brighter, won, and the loser asked, "What did you do to that maglite?", you might be a flashaholic.

If your church youth group complains when you miss a beach trip because they couldn't see anything at night without you there, you might be a flashaholic.

lol

 

[Zorzi]

From the OP "If you walk into a sporting goods store knowing that you're carrying the brightest flashlight in the store and still look in the flashlight section, you might be a flashaholic.". That was funny!!! 😂