Flashaholic comebacks!

Standard flashaholic situation: You're in a room with no windows and no/faulty emergency lighting. Or it's night. The lights go out. You bust out your EDC('s) and save the day. Lots of people comment that you're so prepared, etc. But then there's that one idiot.

"So, why do you carry a flashlight, anyway?"

What do you say to this person? Off the top of my head, things I've said:

Just click off the light for a couple seconds. Even if they don't say anything, they get the point that you can't do some necessary things in the dark.

"Can you see in the dark? I can't."

"Don't be a showoff. Just because you can see in the dark doesn't mean everyone can."

"This light has saved lives. It might save yours, someday."

I think the best one that I'll always remember was Alex Schira's, "I owe Batman money." Classic.

So, what does everyone else say? Not limited to lights, it can be for multi tools or knives or whatever obviously needed tool you carry.

:buddies:

"why not?"

"why does you car have headlights?"

"ever been in a blackout?"

"because my light has killed less people than Ted Kennedy's car"

"a Surefire L4/HDS U60XRGT: 160 dollars,

not breaking an ankle in the dark: priceless"

" 'cause I like flashlights."

I'm still in high school so therefore I'm surrounded by idiots so when they ask what it's for I usually shine it right in their eyes . .. . . and they stare at it like they've never seen a flashlight before,but then again they haven't seen surefires before.And for the smarter ones I usually do the whole lights out deal and give them a demo .

"So, why do you carry a flashlight, anyway?"

"Because people like you don't"

Would work best in total darkness/power failure type of situation and make the question asker feel as small as a Fenix P1 (but not half as smart or useful!)


CFU

I always use the same line and always get a laugh, "I'm afraid of the dark!"

Because I'm still waiting for my super powers to develop. When I can see into the infra red spectrum, I'll stop carrying a flashlight


Simon

Radio said:

I always use the same line and always get a laugh, "I'm afraid of the dark!"

Click to expand...

Thats exactly what I do.

Then again, anytime I'm put on the spot I just try to make a joke. Not really a good charecteristic.

This is one of those things that bugs me about the general public. They just don't think at all!

I have given lights to family members and friends as gifts. They are always very appreciative of them. Maybe it's because I give quality lights as gifts. But I think it's more the fact that they can appreciate having the light for when they really need it. None of them EDC a light, but they do atleast make it a point to put the lights in places where they can reach them easily at home or in their cars.

As to my answer to the original question. I'm not really witty with my answers most of the time or even sarcastic when people ask. But most of the time my usual answer is "Because I like to be able to see in the dark" I usually get an "Oh." as a response. I can tell when I get that type of response that they aren't really scratching their heads anymore, but are now thinking "ok that makes sense" I find that these are usually the same people afterwards that come back to me with "hey can I borrow a light?" to which I respond "What do you need it for?" I keep hoping that someday with some of them that the big light bulb in their heads will finally come on and show them the way!

Hehe these are good. I wouldn't use the question comebacks, as lots of times they have a smart *** answer to come back with!

Man, this is good thread. I work at glassware manufacturing plant and people are always asking me stupid questions like this. Occasionally, the power will go out and I tell you I could SELL minutes of use with my light. Especially on midnight shift!

My reply: "Does'nt everyone, If they don't they should" It almost always gets a laugh.

Gary

...my nomination...'cause I'm smarter than you are!

"So, why do you carry a flashlight, anyway?"

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine."

"The Boy Scout motto is 'Be prepared.' "

This reminds me of a classic scene from the old TV show "Taxi." Most of the characters are hanging around the garage as usual. Latka just got done shaving because he's preparing for some big date. He comes out of the bathroom with multiple razor cuts and Alex tells him that he needs a styptic pencil. Jim Ignatowski (sp?) reaches up to his ear, grabs the pencil there, and hands it to Alex. Alex starts to tell Jim "no, no, Jim, he needs a STYPTIC pencil, a STYPTIC ... my god, this IS a styptic pencil!" When asked why he's carrying a styptic pencil behind his ear, Jim responds with, "under the circumstances, I think a better question is 'why don't you?'"

I think it is best to be honest so:
"Because I like to fondle with it." :green:

When I came back with a response saying "you never know when you have to see in the dark", my co-workers asked me if I always carry an umbrella.

"The sun isn't in here and it's dark."
"This thing...you should see my other light."
"The generator was in for servicing."
"My radar isn't what it used to be."

"Look in here and then push this button..."

" 'Cause the boss doesn't always pay the eletric bill..."

"Because someone always ends up opening the darkroom door and letting all the dark out."

"Because when the lights go out I can wait for a dumba** like you to ask me to help them get around in the dark."

"And so when it's been maybe a whole ten seconds after the lights have come back on, some dweeb like you will ask me why I carry a flashlight."