Seinfeld fan? Here\'s a thread for you!
George: Oh yeah, well the life support machine called and, . . . . . .. . . . . stupid.
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FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had - but so did another man. . .As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
KRAMER: What happened to the doll?
FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.
FRANK: She was.
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Kramer: Jerry, George got arrested.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Yeah. He went at the Beatman, he tried to land, but they cheesed him.
Jerry: Oh now I see.
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Old Man in the Park: That bird just flew into your head. Never seen THAT before! Bird into a woman's head. It's like he couldn't avoid it!
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Kramer: "It's Fusilli Jerry! It's made from fusilli pasta. See the microphone?"
Jerry: "When did you do this?"
Kramer: "In my spare time. You know, I'm working on one of you George. I'm using ravioli. See, the hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual."
Jerry: "Why fusilli?"
Kramer: "Because you're silly. Get it?"
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And one of my all time favorites:
KRAMER: I stopped to look at the monkeys, when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. I turn and look and there is this monkey. . . really laughing it up. Then someone tells me that ..he did it. Well, . . .I pick up the banana peel and I wait for that monkey to turn around. And then I *whap* let him have it.
JERRY: Kramer, you threw a banana peel at a monkey?
KRAMER: Well, he started it!
JERRY: It's a monkey, Kramer!
KRAMER: Well, he pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jerry.
JERRY: Well, I still think it's wrong.
KRAMER: Alright, alright, fine. You take the monkey's side, alright, go ahead.
JERRY: I'm not taking anyone's side.
MR. PLESS: Ah, Mr. Kramer?
KRAMER: Yes.
MR. PLESS: Thanks for coming.
KRAMER: So, uh, what did you want to see me about?
MR. PLESS: Well, Mr. Kramer, to get right to it, we're having a bit of a problem with Barry.
KRAMER: Barry?
MR. PLESS: The chimpanzee.
KRAMER: Oh. Well, uh, what's the problem?
MR. PLESS: Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you the other day.
KRAMER: So, so what do you want me to do?
MR. PLESS: Well, frankly we'd like you to apologize.
KRAMER: Yeah, well he started it.
MR. PLESS: Mr. Kramer, he is an innocent primate.
KRAMER: So am I. What about my feelings? Don't my feelings count for anything? Oh, only the poor monkey's important. Everything has to be done for the monkey!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
George: Oh yeah, well the life support machine called and, . . . . . .. . . . . stupid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had - but so did another man. . .As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
KRAMER: What happened to the doll?
FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.
FRANK: She was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kramer: Jerry, George got arrested.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Yeah. He went at the Beatman, he tried to land, but they cheesed him.
Jerry: Oh now I see.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old Man in the Park: That bird just flew into your head. Never seen THAT before! Bird into a woman's head. It's like he couldn't avoid it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kramer: "It's Fusilli Jerry! It's made from fusilli pasta. See the microphone?"
Jerry: "When did you do this?"
Kramer: "In my spare time. You know, I'm working on one of you George. I'm using ravioli. See, the hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual."
Jerry: "Why fusilli?"
Kramer: "Because you're silly. Get it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And one of my all time favorites:
KRAMER: I stopped to look at the monkeys, when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. I turn and look and there is this monkey. . . really laughing it up. Then someone tells me that ..he did it. Well, . . .I pick up the banana peel and I wait for that monkey to turn around. And then I *whap* let him have it.
JERRY: Kramer, you threw a banana peel at a monkey?
KRAMER: Well, he started it!
JERRY: It's a monkey, Kramer!
KRAMER: Well, he pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jerry.
JERRY: Well, I still think it's wrong.
KRAMER: Alright, alright, fine. You take the monkey's side, alright, go ahead.
JERRY: I'm not taking anyone's side.
MR. PLESS: Ah, Mr. Kramer?
KRAMER: Yes.
MR. PLESS: Thanks for coming.
KRAMER: So, uh, what did you want to see me about?
MR. PLESS: Well, Mr. Kramer, to get right to it, we're having a bit of a problem with Barry.
KRAMER: Barry?
MR. PLESS: The chimpanzee.
KRAMER: Oh. Well, uh, what's the problem?
MR. PLESS: Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you the other day.
KRAMER: So, so what do you want me to do?
MR. PLESS: Well, frankly we'd like you to apologize.
KRAMER: Yeah, well he started it.
MR. PLESS: Mr. Kramer, he is an innocent primate.
KRAMER: So am I. What about my feelings? Don't my feelings count for anything? Oh, only the poor monkey's important. Everything has to be done for the monkey!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~