My Ex Girlfriend's Mother is a Witch....

....by her own admission, but also backed up by a flashlight-based experiment.

I turned into my street for her to jump out in front on my car and not let me past. I had a 3 watt Nuwai flashlight to hand, so I turned it on, and aimed it straight at her eyes. Not even a blink, or a hint of dilation. Therefore, I conclude that she is a witch.

When she tried the door, she was just far enough away from the car for me to spin up the wheels and make a hasty retreat. It was like something from a horror movie.

But the poor result of the experiment has got me thinking, do I need a SureFire M6 Guardian? I can warrant the price of the flashlight, just not perhaps the batteries.

Use a sig229 or a Glock 27. That'll stop em in their tracks and tell em you mean business. A flashlight she'll only want for a headlight on her broom.

Bill

How's about a large stick?? Silver bullets, garlic, etc.. Something will work!!!

Sig229 said:

Use a sig229 or a Glock 27. That'll stop em in their tracks and tell em you mean business. A flashlight she'll only want for a headlight on her broom.

Bill

Click to expand...

Unfortunately, the UK are a little funny about handguns in general. I would love a Glock, but I cannot have one due to UK gun laws. I am a Glock fan without the Glock.

You need Mac's "The Torch" catch her in the beam and BAM instant salam witch hunt style witch burning.

I can't help but question what did you do to her little girl to make her come after you?

A bucket of water worked for Dorothy , maybe it will for you too .

Simple - just keep your foot on the accelerator.

perhaps a 30MCP Spotlight in the car will do?

Tank Light on roof.

Shame I didn't have a Dodge RAM 1500, people are very reluctant to jump in front of one of those!

maybe you should just keep a good distance between yourself and this crazed women...then again why woudl she be so mad at you? What could you have done besides dump her daughter?

tebore said:

You need Mac's "The Torch" catch her in the beam and BAM instant salam witch hunt style witch burning.

I can't help but question what did you do to her little girl to make her come after you?

Click to expand...

The same question crossed my mind. But just the same, I think she should remain an ex-girlfriend. No doubt she is going to turn out very much like her dear mommy. And you don't need a girl friend who chases cars.

A little brise pepper spray should help.

How do you know she's a witch?

Switching to Monty Python mode.........

Did she turn you into a newt?

The correct test is to see if she weighs as much as a duck.

We drifted apart, and I asked her if she still wanted to be with me, and SHE said no, and that was that. The only thing I am guilty of is that she was innocent before she met me, now she is not so innocent, if you know what I mean?

LOL!
So what happened, you took her virginity and now her daughter can't fore tell the future?
Oh wait, that was in a Bond movie!

How about a portable fire extinguisher? A blast in her face a few times may persuade her to redirect blame to herself for raising a delinquent daughter.

Also, a can of WD40 or engine degreaser and a lighter will light her up like a BBQ very well. Afterall, she is a self proclaimed witch, you can proclaim yourself a firestarter.
;-)

I think we can file this thread in the category "We all have our moments" and move on ...
bernie