stupidest place to put a car battery

Battery in wife's dodge intrepid died today. I thought "no big deal", went down to autozone and bought a new one.

... then I started to replace it ...

1) can't FIND the battery, can find some remote jump start terminals, let's start there!
2) they disappear under the air cleaner box, air cleaner box is bolted in place
3) air cleaner, now removed, shows 1/3 of the top of the battery and 1 cable
4) I scratch my head
5) I scratch my a**
6) no way the battery is coming outta that small hole
7) more scratching
8) scratching pays off!
9) go get jack, yeah the jack, you heard me!
10) jack up car and remove right front wheel
11) shake head in disbelief
12) see access panel inside fender
13) remove panel
14) shake head again
15) battery now visible
16) remove 1 cable
17) slide battery back
18) remove other cable
19) determine battery was GOOD, cable was bad
20) stomp and cuss
21) back to autozone for new cable end
22) clean everything
23) put new end on
24) reassemble
25) warn others

time: 4 hours

In my Intrepid owner's manual, it says something about turning the wheels all the way to the right, removing the access panel, removing the air cleaner, sliding the battery into the opening and lifting it out. You shouldn't have to remove the wheel, apparently. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon3.gif Never having done this (not looking forward to having to do it someday, either)/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif, I can't say how well that would work. Sure isn't as simple as doing it from the place they used to put it (at the top of the engine on the driver's side). /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

Probably the MOST fun part (and there were so many) was removing the hold-down bracket that goes right over the top of the battery. I had to use an air ratchet with a 90 degree socket to get the bolts. All the while trying not to short out the terminals.

After doing it once, I think I could repeat it in 1-1.5 hours if all materials were available (I hate stopping and making parts runs).

Tire removal may not be required, but I think it is actually faster that way.

Hey... wait a sec... what are YOU doing posting?!?!? Don't you have some parts to make? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Some cars have the bat in the back.

A friend used to have a mini minor, and did a lot of (nice) work on it. He replaced the fuel tank for some reason. The next day he came out and found a burnt out wreck on the front lawn.

It seems he didn't solder the fuel line well enough and the fuel leaked out into the back of the car. It eventually would have reached the level of the electrodes, and then ... well, you get the picture.

It convinced me never to work on the fuel tank, but also never to buy a car with the battery in a bizarre place.

The Prius has two batteries in the back. One you won't be chaging on your own. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

I thought for a moment this was going to be an amusing anecdote about *misplacing* a car battery.

As someone who'd misplace his head were it not attached, I was hoping for some commiseration. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

wacky place for sure; wonder why they did it? (i know some euro cars have it in the trunk well, that's to get good balance and keep batt away from the heat in engine bay).

Yeah, but imagine the losses due to long battery cable length....

surely the benefits must outweigh the costs, i mean i've seen a whole lotta eurocars with trunk mounted batts, and you KNOW they're trying hard to be green.

it makes scence to have the battery in the trunk because heat is a major killer of batteries. shure it costs more due to longer runs of thicker cable but the battery should last longer. putting the battery by the wheel well though is kinda twisted evil. Maby the auto techs thought they needed job security?

The trunk makes pretty good sense. Helps put some weight in the back of the car (Important with rear drive, which lots of euros are) and you could probably even make a case for safety--highly explosive battery in the trunk as opposed to the engine bay if there ever is a fire. (Although if the fire reaches the back than you've got the battery AND gas tank back there).

Dunno what the Intrepid engineers were thinking. Must have lost a fight with the safety guys (Airbag sensors) and the HVAC guys (Duct work for AC).

If it makes you feel any better, I bet at least one of the engineers suggested the battery go in the trunk. A bean counter probably said "That's too expensive, and the battery only gets changed every 5 years anyway. Find a place under the hood!" so they did. Stupid bean counters. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Ya'all are all off the mark /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

1. space is at a premium under the underhood
2. engineers have been designing cars to be harder to work on. For the factory mechanic who does this on a regular basis. It will be a 15min job, but care to look the shop rate/book hour(s) for doing that? For you it will be a several hour job.
3. Car engineers are not stupid in the least. (do make mistakes)
4. bean counters at auto makers are not stupid in the least. (do make mistakes) they've got all the costs of placing it in the wheelwell VS running a long cable (liabilities) to the rear.

Don't believe me about the factory designing things to be a pain? Here are some examples:

1. The lack of grease zerts on ball joint and tie rod ends. On most older vehicles, you will find them. Perfect case of planned obsolesence. It will not wear out for 90K+ miles, long out of warranty. But if you keep the tie rod end boot filled with grease, by using a needle attachment on your grease gun. you can keep that joint healthy 200k+ miles.

2. Mcpherason struts on vehicles are welded shut, making someone replace the entire assembly instead of just the stut cartriges. This makes it harder for after market companies offer replacement, making you go to the dealer. Of course most struts don't wear out until way past 90K miles. way past the mfg's obligations.

3. Welded U-joints ends instead of simple C-clips. Now you have to replace the entire drive shaft instead of a simple (cheap) U-joint replacement. Again this usually does not happen for 90k+ miles.

Front wheel drives have constant velocity joints or CV joints. Almost no one will tell you inject thru the CV boots and refill the special moly disulphite grease used in the joints. If you keep the joints from going dry, they will last 200K+ miles. But since no one does this, they will go dry usually about 90K + miles. Lunch out and guess what you get to pay for new or reman CV shafts. Please do check prices... it may scare you enough to buy a needle zert and moly grease.

I could go on and on on...

Conspiracy theory, I knew it!

Where's Darell?

How about the old Beetles with the battery under the back seat.

I had one short out to the seat springs while I was sitting on it. Wheeeeee!

And then after you change the battery, don't leave it sitting in the driveway. The timing is funny, my daughters baby sitter arrived this morning and shared with me a story of how yesterday she RAN OVER a car battery that had been left at the end of her driveway!

All she got was a scratch on the bumper and needs a bit of front end alignment... I was amazed the didn't loose the transmission!

So, in the middle of the road would be another place not to put a car battery /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

Some of the recent models of GM cars have the battery under the back seat!

Looking at it both ways;


Stupidest place to put a car battery in the car: I'd think it would be under the back seat. It's hard to get to, needs special venting and if it shorts, it's very hard to access.

Stupidest place to put a car battery out of the car: On the floor at the end of my work bench. That's a convenient place to charge it, but it's also where things tend to fall off the bench. How many amps does a 17MM open end wrench draw from a fully charged 12 volt battery? I don't know either.

Like IlluminatingBikr said, my Prius has two batteries in the trunk. You can charge the undersized 12 volt if needed. The 277 volt NiMH battery pack is pretty well sealed and will not need maintenance.

As for deliberate poor design: I've had several cars where you could not change the oil filter without first discovering the hidden access panel. At least two required that another part be looesened or removed first. I go to the shop now.

Daniel

Also don't pick up a battery my it's terminals with bare sweaty hands. Now that kicks! then you drop the battery on your feet /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif

I can't believe you had to go through all that trouble to replace your car battery. What a crock! Who was the lead engineer that day that decided where to put the car battery? I would like to see a new car that's totally user friendly. Meaning, you can access all of the components that you need to change out without having to bend, twist, and squeeze your body into the weird positions under the hood.

I used to own a 1990 Acura Integra. In order to change the oil, I would have to remove an access panel under the car to get to the oil filter. In order to get under the car, I would need a lift or pit - as most readily-available set of ramps did not offer enough clearance /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif