I do care about being legal, effective (not just bright) and not blinding oncoming traffic and have a similar question as the OP.
I've got a dual sport motorcycle (KTM 690 enduro) that I ride both on and off road a bunch. I'm no expert but I have figured out that there is a huge difference between how bright a light is, and how much better it helps you see. For example I took the stock 60 watt bulb and replaced it with a 130/80 watt bulb (low beam was stronger than high beam). When on high beam it often would reflect back to me off of signs, light colored rocks etc and wreck my night vision. Without question, 60 watts WITH your night vision intact is better than 130 watts with your pupils shrunk.
That's one crazy bulb! I'm surprised your wiring didn't take issue with that.
Night driving vision is "mesopic", which means it is in that range between photopic (normal lighting conditions) and scotopic ("night" or very dark conditions). With too bright a bulb, it takes you out of mesopic and into the photopic realm, or at least temporarily. Your night vision gets messed up, to put it plainly. It's no wonder the low beam is that high, it has to replicate the dazzling you're getting from the 80W high beam, so that on low beam you still think you're seeing well.
I often ride my bike in 3rd world countries with no painted lines on the side of the road (its amazing how much those help) and large animals crossing the road which can be real dangerous.
Now, if we could just get people to stay in between those lines! Even over here, deer can be a problem, as sometimes fences aren't quite high enough or they find breaks to go through.
A limitation with my bike is my alternator. The 130 watt bulb was too much for my system - I'm thinking 100 watts is all I have juice for...
It probably caused a voltage sag in the wiring to the light itself, and it may not have run at full intensity due to that. It cheats the ignition system of energy and makes the engine have to work harder just to run the alternator. Kindof a loss all around.
A guy on one of my biking forums (never met him or been able to try his bike out at night) is real excited about bi-Xenon projector beams. I think he got his from an Audi A6. I've been thinking of trying that in my bike - it require a bit of work in regards to modifying the fairing around the light. I don't know much about Bi Xenon - he describes it as a HID high beam that when you have oncoming traffic it has a plate cut off the high right side (or left side in America) of the beam.
Any thougths on the BiXenon's beams? 2nd question - is being blinded by the reflection of your own lights because the light is too white or hot? Would it help to have a cooler beam? I'm sure the biggest factor is the shape of the reflector....
That would certainly be an immense project to do it correctly, and is beyond my education and training to suggest how to do it well. I know there are plenty of WRONG ways to do it, though.
White is white; you're blinding yourself from just too much light. A lower color temperature ('warmer' light) generates less irritation glare. You want to stay in the 4200-4300 range, and avoid anything that discusses "whiter, crisper light" (potato chips are crisp, not light).
It seems that the KTM690 uses the H4 bulb, just like the OP's. My recommendation to you is the same as to him, the
Philips X-Treme Power. There is also
this as an option. I'm hesitant to suggest overwattage bulbs, though, because I don't know if your wiring can really handle it or if the reflector is designed well enough to not be a glare monster with any bulb, let alone one of the higher wattage bulbs.