wife just found me out! - OH ya!

[SkunkWerx]

So far, so good here.
The first thing I did was gather up all the cheap-arsed lights around the house. You know, the ones people grab during a power outage and they shine less than holding up a yellow crayola crayon in total cave darkness.

I have a bag full of them. Plastic lights the kids used on halloween, old 2D incan lights that the slide switches don't work, a wall rechargeable that only lights dimly while still plugged into the wall, etc etc etc. We would literally go through 4 or 5 cheap lights during a power failure to find one that works. :shakehead

Of course, they were spread all over the house, so that is my new strategy as well, make them all "users" , be able to cite their purpose or what they replaced, and spread them thin. All over the house.

I'm keeping the "bag of bones" plastic lights just in case I have to hold them up (like holding up a crucifix to a vampire) and say, "NO MAS, NO MAS!":candle:

.

 

[gordonshowers]

Is she a member on here?

Or just a self found flashaholic?

No, she just lets me do all the homework on the new torches!

She's been a flashaholic since she got her huge (6 D-cell??) maglite many many years ago. Still keeps it by her bedside.

BTW "gordonshowers" you may have slip that name past the mods but the rest of us are on to the joke.

I've used this username on every forum I've ever joined in the last five years, and yours is the very first comment I've ever received about it!

 

[Tiantang78]

hehehe ... this is so funny ... i just got busted last week ... i bought two jetbeams from bugoutgear, an M1X and a Jet III-m, i hid the invoice but forgot to remove the customs tag on the front of the package ... I dont plan on lying to my wife, just wanted to give her the wonderfull news of how much it cost later! She flipped momentarily but came around after a while, she knows how much i like flashlights and is actually very understanding...

Best to be honest boys ... nothing worse than having to hide your favourite toy

 

[Squidboy]

What kind of self help group would your wife suggest: Flashaholics Anonymous

Hi, I'm chef4850 and I'm a flashaholic.


Tell her this is your support group but that we are all weak and are leading you astray.

 

[mpkav]

Unfortunately my wife runs the $$$. I do have an advantage though being a police officer, EXCUSES!!! I need a light for my web belt, I need a light for my tac vest, I need a Wolf eyes Boxer to search with, I need a backup light, so on and so on. Only problem is I'm running out of excuses. Yes I have even sent lights to friends houses. All for the damn light!!!! Gotta love it!!!

 

[Flashlightboy]

When it comes to flashlights wimin only understand wimin logic so you need to try and think like a girl to handle this situation. It's a problem easily addressed if you approach it the right way.

You simply sit down and tell her that you appreciate her concern that she thinks you're spending money on things she you don't need to function on a daily basis and let her know that you have the have the answer so this won't be a further issue.

Tell you that you'll stop buying flashlights when she stops buying shoes and purses. She doesn't need all of those and that your lights are cheaper than her shoes and accessories. I guarantee she'll be stunned and won't give much crap in the future when you say, "Um, are those a new pair of shoes?"

 

[soeren]

be manipulative... show emotions

"When I´m sad...playing with the beam of a torch makes me happy---not every beam works in every situation---thats why I need more than one flashlight"


works---believe me

 

[tab665]

my wife has a very good gift of recognizing quality. i might be able to fib a little on price, but not too much. with that said, when my polarion that i ordered arrives, id like to be buried with it, which might save someone the task of removing it from my rear.

 

[ShineOnYouCrazyDiamond]

:laughing: nice!

i'm weird and proud!

normal sucks!

Just makes me think of a favorite movie quote:

"And you're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
​

I don't think I have a normal hobby at all for a 35 year old male. I play with RC cars, I collect flashlights, and I like hunting for white walls. They all make me smile - who cares.

Anyone with an issue of where I spend my money (which I work my butt off for) knows where the door is. I grew up poor and worked my butt off to get where I am today, and if I want to spend $400 on a Titanium light bulb I am not going to ask for permissions.

 

[J_C]

Don't try to defend or rationalize, popular consensus is that this is the first sign someone is in "denial".

Instead put it simply. Pick an area of her life where she goes beyond the bare essentials, that she opts to have something more, a hobby, a luxury, etc., and equate your fetish with that.

If she denies having any such luxuries, well you better have a list ready :thinking: because that's ammunition! Armed with the list, the two of you then get to negotiate... and pick out one of your lights and give it to her, earlier rather than later in the discussion as we know women like gifts.

 

[ShineOnYouCrazyDiamond]

Of course - the above being said I follow all of the rules others have posted :sigh::sigh::sigh:

-Lie about how much they cost.
-Hide the around the house (so they appear functional)
-When you are questioned about how many you have - jusy say yes dear I'll sell a few and post up a few of the lower end ones up on CPFM.
-Make sure to keep the wife supplied in flowers - they don't have to be expensive - just something seasonal. (Somehow that is like waving you left hand to distract her while you click with you right one) :laughing:

-And by all mean ship to your work address.

 

[jahxman]

-And by all mean ship to your work address.

LOL I started doing this a few months ago - then I got a PO box so the mail guy at work would stop scratching his head and sighing when handing me my packages....:naughty:

 

[RAGE CAGE]

I'm pretty new here to cpf myself, and luckily I can use the excuse that i'm using them for my job, so far so good.

But reading this thread i'm starting to wonder, are there ANY females on this forum that anyone knows of? A Wife hiding flashlights from her husband or maybe even a wife and husband that both love flashlights?

Prob. no wifes...only CPF'rs with FLESHLIGHT girlfriends.

 

[JimmyM]

Arrange a power outage in the house.

 

[tsask]

I figure in a world where some guys spend over $500 a month on "paysites" porn etc, or pack their noses full of blow (blowing $250 for an '8ball') or wagering and losing thousands of Dollars wagering on American Professional Football (like the Miami Dolphins last night),
or supporting a full time mistress.........

Spending $100 on a Raw SS or Jetbeam, or Quark is actually doing your family a favor.

What happened last time the power went out at your place???

If a grown man (or woman) has the money, and the avocation causes no harm to family or society, then buying a flashlight is a most unselfish, philanthropic, economy boosting , "ALL American thing to do"!

 

[gordonshowers]

...when my polarion that i ordered arrives, id like to be buried with it, which might save someone the task of removing it from my rear.

 

[csshih]

my wife has a very good gift of recognizing quality. i might be able to fib a little on price, but not too much. with that said, when my polarion that i ordered arrives, id like to be buried with it, which might save someone the task of removing it from my rear.

WHAT?! You've been here HOW long, and you've ordered a polarion??!

 

[Kwanon13]

You should have whipped out your EDC, blinded her with the strobe and made your escape with the box of lights! (finally, a use for the strobe!)

 

[Stress_Test]

my wife has a very good gift of recognizing quality. i might be able to fib a little on price, but not too much. with that said, when my polarion that i ordered arrives, id like to be buried with it, which might save someone the task of removing it from my rear.

You are SO doomed!

 

[Polklifer]

My spouse and I have an arrangement we refer to as the Wife Tax. Whenever I buy myself a toy she gets a credit toward the purchase of something of equal or greater value. I am not particularly rigorous in the accounting and I think she may cheat on occasion, but there are a couple of lights that may have slipped by unnoticed too.

By effectively doubling the cost of anything I buy it helps to keep me under control. It did, however, lead to a kitchen remodel after I bought an Audi TT back in 2002.