I talked to him at the gym today, got a few scarce details. He was quiet about it, but the tidbits I got might explain a bit.
-Divorced parents, grew up with single mother, older sister who is now off at college. No male relatives or older siblings. This may explain the modesty. Do note, he's not exactly a sensitive type. When I say modest, I mean very defensive about being seen. He's a boxer, I personally got the kid started because I'd heard he had been having fights at school. I assumed kids were picking on him, and he got in trouble for trying to fight back, so I stated tkaing him along to the gym just so he could have fun and learn a few things.
I got him into his first match, just to see what he would do.
...He's a quiet, polite kid. Acts older than he is, very mature emotionally.
But when that bell rang to start his first round...all I could do was sit back and stare. He was...some one else out there.
Let's put it this way. His nickname around the gym is 'Tiger'. He's an extremely, extremely aggressive fighter...but only in the ring. It's like he channels out any negative feeling he has into a situation where he can let it out without limits. This was my first clue that he may have a couple problems at home, I figured just living with a single mother would do it, and problems at school. It's an inside-joke at the gym, this is the kind of kid that the fun teachers make jokes about and he laughs right with them, he's a good kid. And most of the adult fighters at the gym, don't want to spar with him because...Well, he just hits that hard.
-...Mother remarried a few years ago, right around the time I started him out in boxing. His mother was in her mid-forties, her new husband was about fifty, had been bald and middle-aged looking since he was twenty. No previous marriages, a bachelor at age fifty. I was not aware of this, I figured he had been married before, things are just starting to sound worse and worse. The guy is a long-running fast food manager...has been doing it since high school. And apparently is a bit out of shape, which I have to mention because his step-son is a competing boxer who trains harder than I do. He's a featherweight, fights 126, and probably has under six percent bodyfat. He's an obvious athlete, but his modesty probably traces back to living with two females. I'm sensing some problems from this. We're talking what is likely a former high school athlete, who never really went anywhere in life, living with a kid who looks like a Bowflex commercial. I understand they have a bit of a cold relationship. Maybe this guy sees 'Tiger' as a rival male, who he has control over. Think about it, it's like having a son on the football team, and you were the guy they used to stuff in lockers.
-I asked, plain out, how did getting caught like that make him feel? 'Ticked. Really...realy ticked'. He obviously has buried anger from way back. He wasn't cowering behind the couch, he was trying to cover himself while he stared daggers at this jerk who was casually walking through his room without even knocking. This isn't a friendly walk-in with a relative, this is something personal. Some one suggested the step-dad is showing disprespect...more like he's telling the kid 'I'm in charge, deal with it!'.
-And lastly...the kid mentioned 'He wanted me out of the house for a while when they first got together'. And then he shut up, and we went back to working out.
...This changes the entire perspective...Dear God, no wonder this kid leaves dents in punching bags.
EDIT: Agreed, the actions between adults is a different subject, and shouldn't be the focus. This topic was started as a perspective on a ag friend of mine, and the concept of locked doors and families. True, I've turned it over to analyzing this case in particular, but that 'another couple' concept isn't something worth looking into any further.