Things I've learned the hard way . . .

[MaxaBaker]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

[ QUOTE ]
brightnorm said:
Always keep a plunger in the bathroom.

Brightnorm

[/ QUOTE ]


/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/aaa.gif

 

[nightshade]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

A ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

A ounce of chocolate equals four pounds of fat.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Proper planning and preparation prevents **** poor performance.

 

[chmsam]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

Bathrooms and alcohol are often sources of amusement, but only for others.

- The time to be certain about the paper supply is before and not after. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
- Priorities and options change based upon the situation (No paper? No newspaper? No magazines? Singles for a five?). /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon6.gif
- Murphy is one thing, but remember, God has a sense of humor and you are the butt of the joke (Bwwwahahahahaha!). Example: when you have both an alcohol and bad food choice induced situation, where both ends are about to simultaneously become, er... engaged, you will make the wrong choice. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smoker5.gif And your wife will be there to laugh at you. Can you say, "Film at eleven?"
- Wives have very long and very accurate memories. Except that they will neglect to mention that the story they are telling (and retelling) is but one, single instance in an otherwise exemplary (indeed, saint-like -- was that thunder I just heard? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin07.gif ) life.
- Wives love, and in fact, live only to relate that one instance over and over again. In front of family, friends, and co-workers. Yours, not hers. At parties. Work parties. In front of the boss. Just before your review. When you really, really could use the raise. And the boss is a member of the Temperance Union. Or is very stern and humorless and devout. Or all of the above.

And just because I am certain that somehow, somewhere I owe my family for something... one family member used to have two fiercly protective terriers. They would ferociously defend them by snarling and loudly barking against all attackers. Especially the porcelain one. On the morning after the night before. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

[MrTwoTone]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

When in the bedroom,only mention your WIFE'S name.Happened
to a coworker,he complained of head and neck pain for more
than a week. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

 

[chmsam]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

No good conversation ever started with:

- I have something to tell you. (And I know I don't want to hear it)
- Oh, did I forget to mention... (Yes, you did. And just how good is the dinner the table so I'll know just how bad this is gonna be?)
- You know I love you. (Uh, oh. It's either expensive or is gonna take a lawyer. Or both)
- Watch what I can do. (Where's the first aid kit and what is the number for 9-1-1?)
- Let me tell you what YOUR child did today. (They're YOUR kid when they make honor roll, but now they're mine? -- especially good for step-parents, btw)
- Honey, do you know how much I love you? (Be afraid. Be very afraid.)
- Do you think she's cute? (Forget "does this make me look fat?" THIS IS THE MOST DANGEROUS QUESTION YOU WILL EVER HEAR! There is no correct answer -- answer yes and you are dead, answer no and she'll only think you are lying)
- Do you remember when...? (No, I don't. I'm getting old and forgetful, but that won't stop you from holding it against me no matter how obscure the thing I forgot was)
- How much did you love that car/boat/shirt/light? (DID? That's the past tense. Uh, oh... Hey, waitaminute! Cool! Now I don't have to hide that new...)

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

[ QUOTE ]
chmsam said:
- The time to be certain about the paper supply is before and not after. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif Amen to that! I could list that as one of my quirks in that other thread - I always check beforehand.

 

[gadget_lover]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

In an emergency, don't expect people to act rationally. I was a telephone operator in the 1970s. I actually got this call;

Me: Operator; may I help you?

Him: Quick, I need the number for 911!


Daniel

 

[gadget_lover]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

One of the most important things.....

If there are two ways to interpret what someone says, choose the more complimentary one, not the insult.

If it's really a compliment and you choose to act like it's an insult, you will be unhappy, he will be unhappy and it will take forever to rebuild your relationship.

If it's really an insult and you choose to take it as a compliment it does no harm, may turn the other person's feelings around. It sets both of you up for rebuilding the friendship.

Besides. It really pisses people off when you smile and treat them nice after they insult you.

Daniel

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

[ QUOTE ]
gadget_lover said:
If it's really an insult and you choose to take it as a compliment it does no harm, may turn the other person's feelings around. It sets both of you up for rebuilding the friendship.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wise words, Daniel.

 

[gadget_lover]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

Measure twice, cut once.
- - - - Then measure again before glueing.

Daniel

 

[JimH]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

[ QUOTE ]
gadget_lover said:
Measure twice, cut once.
- - - - Then measure again before glueing.

Daniel

[/ QUOTE ]

Daniel,

Where's the fun in that. Then you you'll know how it turns out before you begin. It's kind of like reading the end of a novel to see how it turns out before you finish the first chapter.

How a bout cut twice, never measure - that's where the adventgure is.

 

[JimH]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

double post

 

[gadget_lover]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

Ok, Another thing I learned the hard way.....

You can end up with a double post if you hit the continue button twice after typing in the message.


You can cover it up by cleverly editing the post so it looks like you are

 

[gadget_lover]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

continuing the previous post. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Daniel

 

[MrTwoTone]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

If you think you have enough gas in the car to drive to the NEXT exit-you don't......

 

[chmsam]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

1) The stuff you have packed and carried for an annual event for years, but never used, when left behind because you never have used it, will be "mission critical" because you left it behind.

2) Duct tape will repair almost everything... but not quite. There are reasons those doctors went to school for all those years.

3) The go-to, ultimate backup, use-only-when-your-life-depends-on-it light will be dead when you need it because someone in your family found it in your secret hiding place, and had to go past at least 10 other lights (Yes, at least 10. We're flashaholics, remember?), to make the glow in the dark stars on their ceiling glow a teeny bit brighter. And that is why you riped the living snot off your knuckles in the dark. (see #2)

4) The go-to, ultimate backup, use-only-when-your-life-depends-on-it knife will be dull when you need it because someone in your family found it in your secret hiding place, and had to go past at least 10 other knives (Yes, at least 10. I'm a knife guy, remember?), to scrape paint off a $2 desk they got at a garage (garbage?) sale -- and it was no bargain at that price. And that is why you sliced your thumb when you went to cut that rope. (see #2 again)

5) The latest computer you bought cost 1/4 of your first 8086 machine (and 1/1000th of the IBM 360 you used to punch cards for), is faster by factors -- not just multiples, and does not weigh even a tenth as much (not to mention the size of the 360). But the keyboard sucks! Gimme that old click response of the early PC keyboards.

6) The first thing to go when you get old is, um..., what a minute, uh..., what was I talking about?

7) The size of your "nose goblin" (that you have not noticed but they have) is directly proportional to their level of hottie-ness when you are trying to make a first impression. Well, Buck-o, you made a first impression, alright!

But if you still can get her to hang out with you, you are not only a god but more importantly she is most definitely a keeper.

 

[chmsam]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

1) The kitchen knife you have sharpened, and (this is the important part) have left a piece a piece of tape on, that says "Sharp!!", will cut your wifes' thumb. Somehow this will be your fault.

Each time it happens.

2) The mangy mutt your kid got will, even after it destroys your favorite shoes, light, book, etc. (or all of them, actually), will still be a "precious, cute, innocent, little puppy."

3) The precious, cute, innocent, little puppy your kid got will, after it destroys the pair of shoes your wife just bought, still be a "mangy mutt."

4) Your vehicle -- your pride and joy -- your baby! -- will have to be left out in the driveway because your family has packed the garage with extremely vaulable items. Like a bicycle with two flat tires and no chain. And that $2 desk bought at a garbage, er, garage sale. Or the volleyball set -- with a net full of holes -- and no volleyball. And the boards for the tree hou... -- HEY! Who left my torque wrench out here! And why did they use it as a hammer! AAAAAaaarrrrrrggghhh!

 

[Reaper]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

NEVER, EVER, say that you went to a "Flashlight" convention. The familiy members will forever snicker and raise their eyebrows when they mention that you went to one. More in character if I went to a gun show instead.

 

[AJ_Dual]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

The dial tone in live phone wire is about 45 volts. The ring signal depending on the REN rating of your home's service drop, could be as high as 90 volts.

Both have the potential to create a very interesting sensation when you're stripping phone wire with your teeth because you were in too much of a hurry to go get a wire stripper from the basment.

 

[KevinL]

Re: Things I\'ve learned the hard way . . .

[ QUOTE ]
chmsam said:
3) The go-to, ultimate backup, use-only-when-your-life-depends-on-it light will be dead when you need it because someone in your family found it in your secret hiding place, and had to go past at least 10 other lights (Yes, at least 10. We're flashaholics, remember?), to make the glow in the dark stars on their ceiling glow a teeny bit brighter. And that is why you riped the living snot off your knuckles in the dark. (see #2)


[/ QUOTE ]

Ouch, sorry to hear about that.. it sounds painful even without #2!

I kinda figure this is the reason why the light that fills this particular role in my collection is actually carried, used, and reloaded every week. This decreases the chances of it being dead.

Another thing I learned from the computers: If you take a lightly used component, package it up nicely (or not bother to package it, doesn't matter), and leave it alone for many months, it will die. Of what I have no idea but it is almost certain it will be dead next time you need it. Strangely, if left in the system, powered on, it will last forever. Almost.