orionlion82
Enlightened
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2006
- Messages
- 296
The other day while i was looking at lights for one of my savage projects, a spotlight caught my eye.
i just had to go back and look. i needed a bright incan that was practical and rechargeable so why not?
Wikipedia defines "Farce" as:
A farce is a comedy
written for the stage, or a film, which aims to entertain the audience by means of unlikely and extravagant—yet often possible—situations, disguise and mistaken identity, verbal humour of varying degrees of sophistication, which may include puns and sexual innuendo, and a fast-paced plot whose speed usually increases even further towards the end of the play, often involving an elaborate chase scene. Broad physical humour, and deliberate absurdity or nonsense, are also commonly employed in farce.
Lets get on with it...
reading the box sets the stage:
Side one of the packaging, says it is "Ideal {wait for it} for home, auto and marine repairs. It has the manufacturers logo, and the "1,000,000 candlepower rechargeable spotlight" stamped on the box in two places.
there is allso a clear plastic "show window" in the box where you see the product.
and at first glance, it honestly looks like a wholesome, beefy spotlight sure to impress you.
Side two of the packaging:
in bullet points -
rechargable 120V,AC, U.L. adapter for home charge.
(Ive never needed to recharge an adaptor, and im not sure how well its going to charge my home, but thanks. at least its UL listed...)
12V DC car cord for vehicle charge.
(imagine that! it can charge my vehicle too!)
Will automatically stop charging when battery is fully charged
(from my evaluation of the light i would be weary of testing that feature, not that i would try)
easy access battery compartment
(perhaps compared to a chastity belt hooked up to a stun gun, but more on that later...)
low voltage protection for longer battery life
(i have not been able to test this feature, or reckon what the actual protection might be)
Graphical icons:
Provides Strong light for emergencies and repairs
(i guess these photons have been working out)
and then theres the handgrip, locking switch and D-ring (extra strong, refered to here as a "hook" ). yawn.
It gets better though:
Side 3 of the box:
(redundancy omitted)
Use as searchlight for objects in water {no claims of water resistance, and it is absolutely not, so i would NOT use it in the water} boat docks, ramps and navigational points.
(this light has absolutely no business in a marine environment:laughing
Add light to camping trips or for power outages at home.
(this may work for power outages at home, but camping trips?)
Provides brilliant light for Firefighters, Policeman, and security personel.
crackup: well, maybe i could see a security guard using it, but...)
Illuminates jobsites, utility lines, etc.
(Not tough enough for any jobsite i've ever worked at, but i suppose you could view utility lines on a clear night in perfect conditions, when you arent likely to see anything interesting)
The icing on the cake:
The fourth panel of the box...
(redundancy ommitted)
DureX Guarenteed forever.
LIFETIME WARRANTY -
This product is manufactured under rigid controls and specifications.
(Shuuuure it is. notice the absent word in there? like- i dunno, Quality?)
if it should fail to operate properly after normal use (indoors, in controlled laboratory clean rooms operated by company engineers) you may return it prepaid to the address below with proof of purpose. Replacement (they really give you a new one?) will be made at no additional charge (youre allready out postage both ways, so why even bother?)
Normal wear and tear excluded, Bulb excluded.
(So what happens when your soldered-in bulb blows then?)
Strangely, it has a saftey label.
"always wear eye protection when working with tools"
(but you only need a manual screwdriver to disassemble it?)
perhaps thats due to the large simple-glass lens?
ONWARD!
(In part II i will note my thoughts after a disassembly, and in the conclusion, at part III, i actually find good things to say about it.)
coming soon!
i just had to go back and look. i needed a bright incan that was practical and rechargeable so why not?
Wikipedia defines "Farce" as:
A farce is a comedy
written for the stage, or a film, which aims to entertain the audience by means of unlikely and extravagant—yet often possible—situations, disguise and mistaken identity, verbal humour of varying degrees of sophistication, which may include puns and sexual innuendo, and a fast-paced plot whose speed usually increases even further towards the end of the play, often involving an elaborate chase scene. Broad physical humour, and deliberate absurdity or nonsense, are also commonly employed in farce.
Lets get on with it...
reading the box sets the stage:
Side one of the packaging, says it is "Ideal {wait for it} for home, auto and marine repairs. It has the manufacturers logo, and the "1,000,000 candlepower rechargeable spotlight" stamped on the box in two places.
there is allso a clear plastic "show window" in the box where you see the product.
and at first glance, it honestly looks like a wholesome, beefy spotlight sure to impress you.
Side two of the packaging:
in bullet points -
rechargable 120V,AC, U.L. adapter for home charge.
(Ive never needed to recharge an adaptor, and im not sure how well its going to charge my home, but thanks. at least its UL listed...)
12V DC car cord for vehicle charge.
(imagine that! it can charge my vehicle too!)
Will automatically stop charging when battery is fully charged
(from my evaluation of the light i would be weary of testing that feature, not that i would try)
easy access battery compartment
(perhaps compared to a chastity belt hooked up to a stun gun, but more on that later...)
low voltage protection for longer battery life
(i have not been able to test this feature, or reckon what the actual protection might be)
Graphical icons:
Provides Strong light for emergencies and repairs
(i guess these photons have been working out)
and then theres the handgrip, locking switch and D-ring (extra strong, refered to here as a "hook" ). yawn.
It gets better though:
Side 3 of the box:
(redundancy omitted)
Use as searchlight for objects in water {no claims of water resistance, and it is absolutely not, so i would NOT use it in the water} boat docks, ramps and navigational points.
(this light has absolutely no business in a marine environment:laughing
Add light to camping trips or for power outages at home.
(this may work for power outages at home, but camping trips?)
Provides brilliant light for Firefighters, Policeman, and security personel.
crackup: well, maybe i could see a security guard using it, but...)Illuminates jobsites, utility lines, etc.
(Not tough enough for any jobsite i've ever worked at, but i suppose you could view utility lines on a clear night in perfect conditions, when you arent likely to see anything interesting)
The icing on the cake:
The fourth panel of the box...
(redundancy ommitted)
DureX Guarenteed forever.
LIFETIME WARRANTY -
This product is manufactured under rigid controls and specifications.
(Shuuuure it is. notice the absent word in there? like- i dunno, Quality?)
if it should fail to operate properly after normal use (indoors, in controlled laboratory clean rooms operated by company engineers) you may return it prepaid to the address below with proof of purpose. Replacement (they really give you a new one?) will be made at no additional charge (youre allready out postage both ways, so why even bother?)
Normal wear and tear excluded, Bulb excluded.
(So what happens when your soldered-in bulb blows then?)
Strangely, it has a saftey label.
"always wear eye protection when working with tools"
(but you only need a manual screwdriver to disassemble it?)
perhaps thats due to the large simple-glass lens?
ONWARD!
(In part II i will note my thoughts after a disassembly, and in the conclusion, at part III, i actually find good things to say about it.)
coming soon!
Last edited:
