flownosaj
Flashlight Enthusiast
*EDITED FOR CONTENT 12/28/2007*
Don't listen to anything I have to say.
Don't listen to anything I have to say.
Last edited:
What to do with a thief?
- Thread starter Erasmus
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i would say confront on the sidelines, and hear his story, and issue a warning, and tell him that if he is ever caught and proven to be doing it again, his a** is out. Its worth noting that just because his mum drives a merc doesnt mean HE is rolling in dough..
Crenshaw
Crenshaw
flownosaj
Flashlight Enthusiast
*EDITED FOR CONTENT 12/28/2007*
Don't listen to anything I have to say.
Don't listen to anything I have to say.
Last edited:
BB
Flashlight Enthusiast
By the way, even though there is a really good feeling that comes with catching the guy with his "pants down"--I would not recommend placing foreign matter in the food--or at the very least, never admit doing it.
-who me?
-who me?
ernsanada
Flashlight Enthusiast
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- Apr 29, 2004
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- 2,962
I was going to say the same thing. Just don't let anybody know.
At my work we had the same problem and somebody did the same thing.
jtr1962
Flashaholic
The first thing here is to make sure that the atmosphere wasn't such that "borrowing" other's items wasn't considered normal and expected. There are some situations among friends where there is no such thing as yours and mine. This is especially prevalent among young people who were accustomed to sharing their things all their lives. If the atmosphere there was such, you really don't have any recourse. It's actually nice living in such a give and take atmosphere provided everyone more or less contributes equally. Unfortunately, this generally requires people of fairly high moral character and empathy. Sad to say, but this doesn't fit the majority of people.
Assuming the above was not the case, definitely give him a chance to explain his side of it. Despite the fact that his mom is driving a Mercedes he may not have much money. My dad worked two jobs while I was in college. I didn't see much of it, only the people selling stuff related to his hobby of the moment did. This guy's parents may be tighter than a crab's rearend. He may be stealing food out of necessity. If so, see if there's a way for him to earn his keep, either by doing chores, or perhaps finding part-time employment for him.
If money is not the problem, then the only other "acceptable" explanation is that his course load is so demanding that he plain old doesn't have time to buy food. This is actually the reason some schools require their students to be on meal plans. Barring that, he's either too cheap or too lazy to buy his own food, so show him the door but only after he's made good for at least twice, better yet three times, the value of what was stolen. Making him pay extra will teach him a good lesson. And from here on in see if it's possible to partition the storage space for food into individual, lockable cabinets.
Sad to say, but in such an atmosphere you're just asking for thievery. Such is human nature. 99.9% of people will steal if they know they can get away with it. I haven't worked in a place yet where food isn't routinely stolen if put into a communal refrigerator or cabinet. Labeling never helped, either. In fact, it makes things worse as someone will take food from a coworker who happens to have a different lunch period than they do.
Regarding second chances, I'm all for that if there were only a handful of such instances. After all, if someone maybe doesn't have a chance to buy food once a month, and doesn't care if someone occasionally steals their food, it's a more or less equitable situation. This sounds like it was an ongoing, one-sided thing. If he didn't get caught, it likely would have gone on until school was out. At least hear him out so he can't say you didn't get his side of it.
Assuming the above was not the case, definitely give him a chance to explain his side of it. Despite the fact that his mom is driving a Mercedes he may not have much money. My dad worked two jobs while I was in college. I didn't see much of it, only the people selling stuff related to his hobby of the moment did. This guy's parents may be tighter than a crab's rearend. He may be stealing food out of necessity. If so, see if there's a way for him to earn his keep, either by doing chores, or perhaps finding part-time employment for him.
If money is not the problem, then the only other "acceptable" explanation is that his course load is so demanding that he plain old doesn't have time to buy food. This is actually the reason some schools require their students to be on meal plans. Barring that, he's either too cheap or too lazy to buy his own food, so show him the door but only after he's made good for at least twice, better yet three times, the value of what was stolen. Making him pay extra will teach him a good lesson. And from here on in see if it's possible to partition the storage space for food into individual, lockable cabinets.
Sad to say, but in such an atmosphere you're just asking for thievery. Such is human nature. 99.9% of people will steal if they know they can get away with it. I haven't worked in a place yet where food isn't routinely stolen if put into a communal refrigerator or cabinet. Labeling never helped, either. In fact, it makes things worse as someone will take food from a coworker who happens to have a different lunch period than they do.
Regarding second chances, I'm all for that if there were only a handful of such instances. After all, if someone maybe doesn't have a chance to buy food once a month, and doesn't care if someone occasionally steals their food, it's a more or less equitable situation. This sounds like it was an ongoing, one-sided thing. If he didn't get caught, it likely would have gone on until school was out. At least hear him out so he can't say you didn't get his side of it.
Whoa thanks a lot guys for all the responses!
Here is some more information about the situation :
- for him it is not a habit to take his friend's food and let his food be taken by his friends, simply because he has no friends in this residence
- he has time enough to buy food. On his floor he is one of the few who stay during the weekend, and even on Saturdays he steals food. Now he steals during the week but we have 3 week holidays (actually to study, but hey it's called a holiday) so there's time enough to buy food
- everyone is really sick of it, he has stolen for several hundreds of euros and I know for some of us it is a pita since they live on a very limited budget
- every resident has his personal cupboard in a kitchen, without a lock though
And a list of what I will do tomorrow
- confront him with the proofs
- ask an explanation and let him do his story
- let him think about a solution and rectification of all the troubles he made
- inform the landlord (actually he is just another representative since this building is property of the university and just one of the many university residences)
What I probably will not consider :
- put something in the stolen (or to-be-stolen) food
- nail him to the cross
Furthermore I'm the kind of guy of giving him a second chance, because I'm so thankful that in some situations I got a second chance and I bet many of us are.
Thanks again for the massive amount of responses and ideas, keep 'em coming
Here is some more information about the situation :
- for him it is not a habit to take his friend's food and let his food be taken by his friends, simply because he has no friends in this residence
- he has time enough to buy food. On his floor he is one of the few who stay during the weekend, and even on Saturdays he steals food. Now he steals during the week but we have 3 week holidays (actually to study, but hey it's called a holiday) so there's time enough to buy food
- everyone is really sick of it, he has stolen for several hundreds of euros and I know for some of us it is a pita since they live on a very limited budget
- every resident has his personal cupboard in a kitchen, without a lock though
And a list of what I will do tomorrow
- confront him with the proofs
- ask an explanation and let him do his story
- let him think about a solution and rectification of all the troubles he made
- inform the landlord (actually he is just another representative since this building is property of the university and just one of the many university residences)
What I probably will not consider :
- put something in the stolen (or to-be-stolen) food
- nail him to the cross
Furthermore I'm the kind of guy of giving him a second chance, because I'm so thankful that in some situations I got a second chance and I bet many of us are.
Thanks again for the massive amount of responses and ideas, keep 'em coming
jzmtl
Flashlight Enthusiast
Throw his *** out. If you let him slide this time and he reoffend, eventually word will get out that you had a chance to stop it but you didn't, then you become the bad guy, not him.
BB
Flashlight Enthusiast
Another reason to kick him out--You will now have a guy living your dorm with limited morals and pissed he got caught by YOU.
He has no friends (probably for a reason). And he will probably look for somebody to take it out on---YOU!!!---...
Unless you don't store food in the common areas--he will probably do what every other a**h*** does when in a kitchen--spit in your food...
Having an unreformed jerk around is bad--having a pissed off unreformed jerk is worse.
-Bill
He has no friends (probably for a reason). And he will probably look for somebody to take it out on---YOU!!!---...
Unless you don't store food in the common areas--he will probably do what every other a**h*** does when in a kitchen--spit in your food...
Having an unreformed jerk around is bad--having a pissed off unreformed jerk is worse.
-Bill
Is there a clear, written (and/or posted) "policy" on this matter? I would guess that this type of "theft" unfortunately happens fairly regularly wherever there are shared accommodations. Don't assume that everybody knows that it is wrong to eat someone else's food.
Also, does the dorm/school provide guidelines on how to handle the matter? I can see this turning ugly, and if I were you, I'd be sure the dorm/school approves your actions and/or has specific rules on how to address the matter and approach the other student.
Keep in mind that even if you're an RA, you're also a student and a peer. I'd be especially leery since you've indicated that this guy has no friends, which to me, can (but not necessarily) be a red flag.
Also, does the dorm/school provide guidelines on how to handle the matter? I can see this turning ugly, and if I were you, I'd be sure the dorm/school approves your actions and/or has specific rules on how to address the matter and approach the other student.
Keep in mind that even if you're an RA, you're also a student and a peer. I'd be especially leery since you've indicated that this guy has no friends, which to me, can (but not necessarily) be a red flag.
LightInTheWallet
Newly Enlightened
Expose his misdeeds to his peers by confronting him on it in front of them. A "legitimate" excuse will hopefully be upheld/defended by others. Anything less (excuse-wise) will have a contrary result.
PhantomPhoton
Flashlight Enthusiast
Well, I"m generally a forgiving type... the first time.
Unfortunately because Erasmus is in a position of responsibility he can't do what one would do to co-workers... visine, exlax, etc. It sounds like the kid doesn't care much about taking from other students because...
Anyway,
Report him to the "landlord" then confront him. Write up a written agreement that has been approved by the Landlord or other representative of the College that he needs to help repay the dorm for food taken. On that agreement clearly state that if he fails to repay the dorm in the specified manner, or if he is caught taking food again, then more severe consequences, possibly expulsion from the dorm and calling his mother :devil: will happen.
Unfortunately because Erasmus is in a position of responsibility he can't do what one would do to co-workers... visine, exlax, etc. It sounds like the kid doesn't care much about taking from other students because...
Sounds like he needs a hug, or a swift wack upside the head (depending on what kind of family you were brought up in). Get that kid some attention, acquaintances in the dorm, etc. Its hard but you can start it by doing your best with yourself.
Anyway,
Report him to the "landlord" then confront him. Write up a written agreement that has been approved by the Landlord or other representative of the College that he needs to help repay the dorm for food taken. On that agreement clearly state that if he fails to repay the dorm in the specified manner, or if he is caught taking food again, then more severe consequences, possibly expulsion from the dorm and calling his mother :devil: will happen.
JimmyM
Flashlight Enthusiast
"Oooo that's a tough one dude. you must have an allergy to stolen food. Tough break you thieving f***.By the way, even though there is a really good feeling that comes with catching the guy with his "pants down"--I would not recommend placing foreign matter in the food--or at the very least, never admit doing it.
-who me?
JimmyM
Flashlight Enthusiast
I removed my post.
But is "tampering" with your OWN food a felony?
But is "tampering" with your OWN food a felony?
this_is_nascar
Flashaholic
Yea, but isn't stealing too?
DoubleDutch
Enlightened
Hi Erasmus,
I appreciate what you're trying to do. Just one advice: don't confront him on your own. Have at least one more, well informed, person present, preferably the landlord, or someone else who has resposibilities in this matter. You never know which way a confrontation will go, and you may need the extra input, or a witness.
Take care,
Kees
P.S. Two wrongs don't make one right
I appreciate what you're trying to do. Just one advice: don't confront him on your own. Have at least one more, well informed, person present, preferably the landlord, or someone else who has resposibilities in this matter. You never know which way a confrontation will go, and you may need the extra input, or a witness.
Take care,
Kees
P.S. Two wrongs don't make one right
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