So, how's life?

[Chauncey Gardiner]

I am essentially being violated by my own nervous system; passively accepting repeated violation is...sub-optimal.

It's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor. laugh when you can, and keep fighting the good fight. I admire you.

~ Chance

 

[fyrstormer]

Yeah, I'd be really screwed if I lost my sense of humor.

 

[neutralwhite]

hello how's things with you so far frystormer?.

 

[fyrstormer]

In a nutshell, stable. The problematic house I own is being rented to a family who wants to buy it, but they walked away from an unaffordable mortgage in Phoenix a couple years ago, so they have to wait another year before they can qualify for a mortgage again. Regarding my mental health, my psychiatrist and I have worked out a daily regimen of a tiny dose of Prozac, an amino-acid supplement to counteract some of the side-effects of the Prozac, and a tiny dose of anti-anxiety medication. I no longer feel like I'm floating precariously over a deep dark hole.

Interestingly, evidence continues to accumulate that depression may be caused by cellular inflammation in the brain, and I know for a fact that my current problem with depression started about a week after I stopped taking a very strong anti-inflammatory medication called Prednisone. My psychiatrist telly me he's taken Prednisone many times for asthma without a negative effect, but he concedes that doesn't mean *I* didn't have a negative reaction to it -- but there's still nothing to be done at this point, except the treatment we're already doing.

I went to a neurologist and he determined that I have orthostatic hypotension, which means my blood pressure doesn't adjust properly when I'm upright, and that accounts for the feelings of lightheadedness. Not sure if it can be fixed, though. The lack of focus is more likely the result of being sick of my job, but I can't quit because I'm not independently wealthy, so I'm just going to have to get used to it. The neurologist ordered some MRI scans of my head, partly to see if there was anything wrong and partly so I would stop *wondering* if there was anything wrong. The MRI showed there's a growth on my pineal gland, the part responsible for maintaining a normal daily sleep cycle, and that is probably the reason I have so much trouble falling asleep unless I'm completely exhausted. The growth is probably a water bubble, and I was probably born with it, but they're going to do another MRI in 6 months to see if it's growing. In any event, it's definitely large enough that it could be causing other symptoms just by putting pressure on surrounding nerve cells, but there's no way to be sure without going in and removing it. I have another appointment with the neurologist in a couple days to get his official diagnosis and recommendations.

I adopted two cats. They're still jumpy, but they're calming down. It's nice to have a living being that just wants to keep me company for no reason other than being lonely sucks. I lived with cats literally since the day I was born, and the past four years is the longest continuous span of time I lived without a cat. I probably should've adopted a cat sooner, but for some strange reason I wanted to wait until I could afford a purebred cat, as if that really makes any difference. The cats I adopted are Russian Blue hybrids, "rescued" from living outside where I'm sure they were quite happy, and they have a little bit of green around the inner edges of their irises, so I know they're not just generic grey-colored cats. But the most important thing is that they're soft and cuddly.