there are some Jokes

[Chauncey Gardiner]

 

[PhotonWrangler]

A cow is a female. It's udderly true. They need to re-work that cartoon.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?

A buckaneer.

 

[KITROBASKIN]

PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF!

While detecting Pulse Width Modulation in a Playskool flashlight, an intrepid 7 year old finds out there is much more to discover!

https://goo.gl/photos/r7uTkkxrRRfvmtLv9

 

[extendbatterylife]

looooollllllll! Read this!

A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida.
"Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
"That depends," replied the guide,
"on how fast you carry the flashlight."

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

Funny joke, extendbatterylife. :thumbsup:

:welcome:

~ Chance

 

[PhotonWrangler]

You don't have to be faster than the alligator. You just have to be faster than the person next to you.

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

I was hiking in the woods and stopped to talk to a fellow hiker. We were talking long enough for me to realize he wasn't a good guy. So, fearing for my safety, I started to leave. Just then a big bear came charging straight for us. I pulled a 22 pistol from my pocket and the guy starts yelling how stupid I was for thinking it would stop the bear.

I shot the guy in the foot and took off running.

~ CG

 

[Poppy]

After a round of golf, a lawyer comes home looking particularly haggard.

His wife says to him... "What's wrong honey, you look terrible, didn't you have a good day?"

"No... It was Terrible! We got to the third hole, and Harold had a heart attack!"

"Oh my" she said, "that must have been terrible!"

"Yes it was. After that, it was, hit the ball, and drag Harold... hit the ball, and drag Harold."

 

[tex.proud]

So, I'm on the phone with a colleague talkin' about the bad day he's having. I look up and tell him, "well I'm watching a woodpecker peck a steel rain gutter", you're not the only one having a bad day! Had to laugh.

 

[Burgess]

Even WORSE --



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN7mQqcxkvQ




_

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Oh my gosh, that poor bird.

Woodpeckers will "drum" as a territorial thing. That woodpecker drumming on the steel rain gutter might have found himself a really nice, loud percussive instrument.

 

[tex.proud]

Something creepy about dark treks to your hunting stand.

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

Something creepy about dark treks to your hunting stand.

Last year I binge-watched a couple seasons of The Walking Dead. After that, I didn't go anywhere without my flashlight. :shakehead ......... Talk about whistling past the graveyard.

~ Chance

 

[StarHalo]

Good thing she wore heels: Shaq and Olympic Gold Medalist Simone Biles

 

[Burgess]

a Frog visited a Fortune Teller.


She told the frog:
" A beautiful woman will
meet you next month !


She will want to know
EVERYTHING about you ! "


Frog was Very excited !


" Where will I meet her ? "
he asked the fortune teller ? ? ?

" at a Party ? "
" in a Bar ? "
" in Church ? "



Nope, the Fortune Teller replied --



" In Biology Class ! "

 

[StarHalo]

9MM FORCE

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

That looks like a California compliant gun with the disposable magazine I've heard so much about. Do you have a similar video of a 9mm vs. a guy wearing a bulletproof vest? How about a 9mm vs. a bowl of Jello?

 

[martinaee]

Maybe it's a gun that shoots 9mm handguns which then fires bullets on contact.

 

[StarHalo]

Your Capybara's power button is located in the right nostril