Yes, I agree with you that folks shouldn't be judged so quickly on appearance alone. But it happens so often that perhaps it is something ingrained into our DNA. Perhaps on a primal level. What's the first thing that attracts a guy to a woman (and vice-versa).... appearance. "Lookism" could very well be a deeply ingrained issue.
There is certainly such a thing as a "first impression" and a person you find physically attractive definitely is a factor in a first impression. And if you find tattoos disgusting, that too will be a factor. Or if you LOVE tattoos, same thing only opposite. But, while a first impression may well be beyond your mental control, a
judgment is not. And, while I am all about intuitions and gut feelings and hunches, and do myself rely on them when making
decisions where time is a factor, I still think it's very important not to turn such things into a guiding principle, or sweeping generalization.
Which, for the record, I would not accuse you of having done here in this thread.
I agree with you about the importance of one's integrity. But to be honest, I have a difficult time seeing integrity from the point of view of hair. The Flag is certainly a symbol that many Americans rally around. (And not just war veterans). Connecting the Flag to one's integrity is much easier than connecting hair to integrity. I actually see your point, but would argue that many people would not. Many folks would understand if a young man turned down a high-paying job if one of the requirements was to burn the American Flag. But if the job was turned down due to needing to get a haircut, it would be seen as a silly; perhaps even foolish refusal.
It would be interesting to see if that particular young man would cut his hair, if a hot girl said she goes wild for short-haired guys.
It all depends on the person, the context, the situation. I don't think you can objectively say that ANYTHING is "silly" when it comes to integrity. What is important is whether or not it is *really* a core issue of integrity for the person, or if it is maybe just a pose, just a passing phase that doesn't really burn brightly at the core of who they are. Perhaps this young man who wouldn't cut his hair was being silly, and it was just a matter of him not really caring about much of anything, --job, hair, future, whatever--, and that if he DID care, such as for a woman, that the real truth would come out: the hair length had nothing to do with his integrity.
Or perhaps not. Probably only that young man himself knows for sure.
A lot of people have staked a great deal on things that an outsider might see as "silly", but which were truly of great importance and moment for them.
You don't have to go back far in time to reach a point where almost all people would find the modern's relation with his four-footed family members (some call them "pets") to be silly, stupid, maudlin, sentimental, and somewhat insane. They wouldn't understand why it was a big deal for people getting on busses out of New Orleans in-the-path-of-Katrina to just leave their cats and dogs and other animals. Who cares? It's "just" a cat, right? It's "just" a dog, right?
I wouldn't have left my cats for anything in the world. I wouldn't have gotten on that bus. I simply wouldn't have been able to live with it. They would have had to tie me up and and bodily carry me off kicking and screaming.
And there have been times in my life when I wouldn't have been able to live with cutting my hair for a job, either. For my lover . . . well, that's a different story. I would have cut my hair (or have grown it out) for any woman I was in love with.
Integrity is in the (minds) eye of the person him or herself, not the beholder.