This is the christmas that broke the straw

I gave up on people acctually buying me what I want for xmas or bday or any other occassion. It seems that people who surround me are just ignorant. I need to vent because it just got really bad over last few seasons. I always spend time and energy to put into gifts. Because that's what they are: gifts. It is something from me to you that I want you to use or cherish. It should be something useful, functional or with the purpose. It doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant as long as some thought is put into it. There were holidays and bday when I got nothing. And yes nothing is better than hurried last minute 7/11 gift. But lately more and more often it was just horrible. It plainly sucks. No thinking process used just bulk gift buying. I think next year I'm going to do the same since nobody cares. And from now on I just buy what I want myself.

Yes maybe I should be lucky to get anything at all since they are people out there who are less fortunate. True. It's just that pointless gift says someting about the giver. And most of the time it is: screw you, it looked ok, it fit my bill, lets get it over with.

Matt, just count yourself lucky that you didn't just get a piece of coal. A gift, whether ideal or not, is still a positive expression that may never be stated again, if it's counted as despised or unwanted.

Hey, don't be 'dissin' coal Empath!

Coal is useful stuff. I'da rather gotten coal than what I did get.

I could at least put it in my forge and heat up some steel and make something neat betwixt hammer and anvil with it.

While I kinda get where Matt is coming from, and would 99% of the time rather have a hearty handshake or a card from people, rather than the gifts I get (and don't particularly deserve); I do greatly appreciate that they think of me at all.

I feel your pain. There are presents and there are gifts. Presents are obligatory for notable commercialized dates like Christmas, hanukkah, Bdays, and yes, even Vday! Gifts are spontaneous, inspired or thoughtful and from the heart.

I love to give inspired GIFTS to friends and family throughout the year and I ALSO try to buy thoughtful items for those obligatory commercial holidays all year long. When I see something that I think would make a good present, I buy and hold it until a commercial giving day comes along. ehehhe. If I don't have something nice saved up for my wife on those days, I get really stressed. It really sucks shopping under pressure for an obligatory commerciall holiday so I try to avoid it with the buy and hold method. It has saved me many a time but more importantly it has given me a lot of satisfaction when giving presents.

Every X-mas and b-day is a little different for me, in terms of both giving and receiving.

I long ago stopped being disappointed or angry at my gifts. The reason is I realize during shopping for gifts how hard it is to get somebody what they want or need. They probably feel the same about me. Unless somebody is very specific about something they want, it's hard. It's also hard if you set a spending limit, which rules out more desirable gifts.

Matt, I think you should take the whole thing a little easier. Go in with no expectations of anything at all, then whatever you get will be a pleasant surprise. You might also match the amount of effort/cost you spend on someone's gift with the effort/cost they spent on yours in the future. That way, you won't feel a large imbalance that bothers you.

I'm with you Matt. I don't like to receive gifts that I might not use, and it is hard for me to be graceful and act happy when I open such a package.

I give my wife a list of things that I would like, including where to get them, website URL's, price range, and any other specifics. I include a wide range of priced items.

I hear ya... every year since about 1995 I've been telling everyone I know that I could go for one of those BMW M5s but the closest I've come is an 88 535is.

Honestly though, I've gone through a lot of stuff in the last two years and I see things quite differently. Seriously... I'm tickled pink when my kids are genuinely happy to see me. Not to sound all sappy or bleeding heart (which I definately am not) but I thank God (almost) every day that my kids have been disease free and have never been burned or have fallen very far or anything serious like that.

this is a lot better xmas then last

:rock: Word Matt Word :rock:

I'm sorry to hear you were dissapointed, Matt. It truely sucks.

Merry Christmas anyway!


I decided long ago that it really is the thought that counts. I don't care if it's funtional. I don't care if it cost 10 cents. I actually get more fun out of giving presents than I do getting them anyway.

My best birthday in years was one where my kids remembered and so did my parents and brothers. I actually got cards from everyone and none was late. I talked with all my loved ones. I'm sure a couple of thousand was spent on presents that year, but I can't remember for the life of me which ones I got.

Yes, some presents appear to be thoughtless, but really, how easy is it to buy for a guy who easily sees the difference between a Canon and a Nikon DSLR? We have esoteric interests that baffle the average person.

I do give my wife a detailed wish list to use along with her instincts. She's pretty good at it.

Again, I hope al of us have a happy new year.

Daniel

i know it's about giving, but i have to agree with Matt. feels like ppl just give you crap cause they know you give good gifts in return... i dont get alot Christmas. 1 or 2 small things from my mom. $20 from my dad. 4-6 gifts from my Girlfriend and her Parents.
Then i give 2 gifts for my mom, 1 for my dad, 2 for g/f mom, 2for g/f dad, 2 for g/f older brother, 1 for g/f little brother, and about 10 for g/f. I get everyone cool stuff that I know they need or will like. I get all happy thinking about what i might get, i hope it's something cool, I feel just like a little kid. Then i get kinda depressed when i open my gift and it's socks....

My immediate family has switched to making gifts for each other rather than spending $$$ for Christmas. There is a lot of time and thought put into them yet very little money; it seems to preserve the ideal of a gift.

What did you want for christmas???

What did you receive???

I'm sorry it did not work out for you!

-PSM

What PSM said, how about a few examples? Are you just spoiled and you're just flat out sick and tired of receiving MP3 players and such? ...... "just one more Ipod", and you're going flip out and hurt someone? $20 gift cards just to easy for you? Or is more like, "gee, thanks for the shoe laces, but I always wear slip-ons (and you should know that because you always give me a hard time about it....)??". Or, "oh, how thoughtful! I've always thought those "Reach" toothbrushes were sooooo stylish! Wow! I can't wait to get home and try it out!"

I wanted little stuff such as bits for screwdrivers, leatherman, some stuff from tad gear, alarm clock...

I got shower head and booze. Now I take baths and don't drink hard stuff.

It's just a drag.

Now I know what to get matt_J next year!!! BuBBleBath!!!! :nana:

Matt, PM me your home address.

Flame suit on? OK, Check.

I think it all started being a problem when it all became about stuff. Stuff we get, stuff we give, the money we use to promote the exchange of more stuff. If we took all of the stuff we wanted, thought we needed, or gave to everyone else, and placed it next to the really important stuff, It would make us realize that we should stuff all that stuff were stuff should be stuffed. At least when it comes to Christmas and all.

My only dissapointment at Christmas or B-days is when I can't find something really meaningful to give someone, or better yet to do for them.

When we give things it is of little consequence. Things can be replaced, money can be replaced, but time is something that you can never recover. So when you spend time with, or on people that is the greatest gift of all. Not all this stuff.

Matt I am sorry that you were dissapointed, but some of my best Christmas memories are of when I was alone with my thoughts of what Christmas really is, and the greatest gift I ever received, or when I got to spend time with family.

I have no expectations, therefore I can not be let down. Even quiet solitude with time to reflect can be a positive if you accept in this way.

I hope things go better for you next year.

" A friend can be hard to find in the wilderness. You are welcome at my campfire anytime."

Chuck

I think, as technical folks, that we're tough to buy gifts for as not only do our loved ones not understand the equipment, but, seemingly, on such gift giving occasions, they don't understand us. Not that I don't appreciate the nice gifts that I received this year, mostly clothes, especially since I don't really "do" shopping, but gee, a Yaesu VX-2 would've been nice.

Due to some recent prolonged blackouts, my sister saw fit to give Mom some "technical" gifts - an "all-in-one" radio-flashlight-whatever wind-up "emergency" type thing that just plain didn't work and a battery powered weather radio that was ridiculously poor in every way. Even consumer electronics are a challenge to many gift givers - wrong TV, wrong, stereo, wrong accessaries and - - WRONG BATTERIES!!! All, often, at the wrong prices.

Personally, I give what I know - "our" kind of toys/tools. Last year, a lot of flashlights (search the Reviews archives for "Chanukah Lights"), this year, more EDC stuff such as the Leatherman Squirt. As gift givers, not everyone knows better, but even if a gift misses the mark, if a gift is from the heart, then there is no such thing as a bad gift. Thoughtless gifts are just that - thoughtless. Don't waste your money and don't waste my time.

73
dim

matt_j said:

I got shower head and booze. Now I take baths and don't drink hard stuff.

It's just a drag.

Click to expand...

While I feel for you, I can say that you just gave me this years last gift, a good laugh :lolsign:

I kinda got the gifts I wanted/needed. My mother always calls me before birthdays and Christmas and ask what I need. This year I found some Goretex boots I have been drooling over on sale, so I got those.
I also got some money from my grandfather and grandmother, and a picture of me and my pal when I was best man at his wedding. The picture ended up in the drawers, as it looks like WE got married... (And the damn guy know it too, just wanted to rub it in by getting me a large picture)
I forgive him though, as I'm going over to him for the annual new years eve dinner in about an hour

Happy New Year everyone!